Insane In The Membrane

Filed in National by on March 5, 2009

Rhode Island’s Johnny Pez has a public service announcement on how to determine whether the conservative you are debating is sane or insane. And, yes, Johnny Pez has found one sane conservative.

A rough and ready guide is to note that insane conservatives are addicted to a series of words and phrases describing a parallel reality, while sane conservatives are not. Here is a sample list of these words and phrases. Remember, if you find any of these terms being used by a conservative, it’s a sure sign of insanity:

ACORN
Fairness Doctrine
marsh mice
maglev train
birth certificate
porkulus
drill, baby, drill
Vince Foster
Islamofascism
liberal fascism
homosexual agenda
socialism

What other words or terms would you add? I can think of a few: volcano monitoring, Ted Kennedy and discrimination against white men.

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A Dad, a husband and a data guru

Comments (35)

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  1. Von Cracker says:

    Messiah.
    Abstinence Only.
    Bush wasn’t a true conservative!

  2. jason330 says:

    With the addition of VC’s three items, the list describes Dave Burris, Rick Jensen and Dana Pico to a tee.

  3. Steve Newton says:

    I’m assuming volcano monitoring must have been an earmark that I missed.

  4. anon says:

    Democrat (as an adjective)
    Class warfare
    Fiscal conservative
    Bipartisanship
    Rush who?

  5. a. price says:

    Palin Power
    raise the roof not our taxes!

  6. Steve Newton says:

    nemski
    OK, since I can honestly claim never to have watched Jindal say anything, you’ll understand how I missed that one.

  7. anon says:

    “There’s plenty of blame to go around.”

  8. pandora says:

    Generational theft.

  9. nemski says:

    Steve, I assumed as much.

    I stand by comment #4, “lucky you”.

  10. anonone says:

    wealth redistribution
    teleprompter
    family values

  11. anon says:

    I’m not a racist

  12. liberalgeek says:

    Oh and liberal media and fairness doctrine.

  13. anon says:

    I have a wide stance

  14. anonone says:

    traditional marriage
    conservative underground
    viscous left-wing commentators

  15. nemski says:

    I have a wide stance

    Don’t we all, don’t we all.

  16. anon says:

    “I apologize to my wife, my family, and my supporters”

  17. anon says:

    When is the last time anyone heard a Republican say “family values?” Seems it’s been a while. Maybe they do have a sense of shame after all.

  18. pandora says:

    It’s all the unions fault.

  19. Shoe Throwing Instructor says:

    the economy is sound.

    nothing wrong with are health care system, nobodys dying in the street. A Hannity favorite.

    Corporate tax cuts will create millions of jobs. My favorite.

  20. a. price says:

    and poor people, welfare queens, and…. (just because no one has REALLY blamed us in a few decades) the Jews

  21. edisonkitty says:

    The War on Christmas.

  22. pandora says:

    Maybe it would have been easier to make a list identifying a sane conservative.

  23. cassandra_m says:

    Fixed your spelling AND your link, nemski
    😉

    And Daniel Larison is a sane conservative. Sane, conservative AND a sane conservative. I read his stuff routinely. I guess he counts as a paloeconservative, but ideology and the talking points of the day are not a feature of his writing — which is clear, erudite and focused. I don’t always agree with where he comes from or where he is going, but what is true is that he very much owns his mind. John Cole was rooting for Larison to replace Kristol on the NYT editorial page which would have been a great addition.

    Carry On!

  24. anon says:

    “I’m running for Governor of Delaware.”

  25. liberalgeek says:

    Abolish the Federal Reserve (to qualify the Paulites)

  26. a. price says:

    “Maybe it would have been easier to make a list identifying a sane conservative.” and much shorter

  27. a. price says:

    “hi my name is john mccain” – pre 2002

  28. anonone says:

    A “sane conservative” is an oxymoron.

    A “conservative” is just a moron.

  29. anon says:

    “No, I’m a Libertarian.”

  30. Unstable Isotope says:

    The One
    Monica Lewinsky
    Cheese-eating surrender monkeys
    Rooting for failure (any theme on Obama is a failure)
    Tea Party/Teabag
    Feminazi
    Franklin Delano Raines

  31. jason330 says:

    Fixed your spelling AND your link, nemski

    HA!

  32. lulu says:

    private property rights
    takings
    free market economy

  33. liz says:

    war on terrorism, war on drugs! War, War and More war. Muslims are all terrorists.