Men Don’t Like Being Called “Creepy”
I have never really thought about this, even though I’ve used the word “creepy” to describe certain men.
Via Jezebel:
At the heart of the “anti-creep shaming campaign” is a concerted effort to discourage women from relying on their instincts to protect themselves from harm. Laying aside its likely etymology, calling a dude an “asshole” is a way of labeling him a jerk. Plenty of people can be jerks without being predatory. On the other hand, calling a dude “creepy” labels him as a potential threat; a creep may not be imminently violent, but there’s almost always a sense that he shows consistent disregard for a woman’s physical or psychological space. This is why, as Wakeman wrote, “it’s a really freaking dangerous idea to twist a woman’s open, honest communication about her boundaries/expectations into ‘creep shaming’ that victimizes men.”
Though the word may be occasionally used unfairly (for example, to describe a physically unattractive guy’s genuinely respectful attempt at striking up a conversation), “creepy” serves a vital function. No other word is as effective as describing when a man has crossed a woman’s boundary; no other word forces a man to reflect on how his behavior makes other people feel. A guy can disprove accusations of being weak by displaying strength (often in foolish ways.) But a guy can only disprove the charge of creepiness by fundamentally altering his behavior to be more genuinely respectful of women. [emphasis mine]
That’s pretty accurate. In fact, whenever I’ve heard this word used I’ve understood exactly what the speaker was saying – there’s something off, something uncomfortable, something simmering beneath the surface. Something that can’t be defined, but exists.
And it has nothing to do with a guys looks. What I mean is that “handsome” men are labeled creepy, too. Creepy is about behavior, and how that behavior makes you feel. I also think the reason the word carries such power is because it’s used sparingly and accurately. If someone is creepy you don’t trust them. If someone is creepy it means they make you uncomfortable.
And it’s not only women labeling certain men as creepy. I’ve seen plenty of other men agree with their female friends’ assessment. Creepy may be a term used mostly by women, but men pick up on creepiness, as well. They say things like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” That seems to be the definition of creepy.
I’m not saying that everyone labeled as creepy is dangerous, and there are times when the word is used inappropriately, but not many. In fact, I’d say that this word is probably used more appropriately than most “insults.”
Tags: feminism, Women Issues
As in Newt Gingrich.
But once again Pandora, our American vernacular will usurp the word “creepy”, like it did “retarded” to an over-used, ill-played common word that lacks any merit of it’s original intention.
RIP creepy, retarded, mentor, transformational, surreal, epic, and F.U.
It’s a very effective character assassination.
I think the way it is most miss-used is when people… usually immature petty people… usually in high school or early college…. intentionally mix up “creep” and “geek” I’ve seen totally honorable respectful, yet hopelessly geeky friends fall to the “creep” label when girls they like would rather go for the popular jerk who is actually a creep.
Not to say it shouldn’t be used. Real creeps …. and those men can be very superficially attractive… need to be pointed out and indeed shamed.
It’s a powerful weapon, ladies, (and men) like a swift kick to the groin. If you need to use it, by all means, use it…. it will work.
Creep and creepy are descriptive, useful word. To remove them from your vocabulary out of some sense of political correctness would be foolish.
well, compare it to “bitch”
if a man calls a woman a “bitch” he probably means she is going to challenge him intellectually or …. god forbid… not put out..
calling a guy a “creep” means he might be abusive, predatory or some other kind of dangerous.
There is a issue of safety. As a parent, I teach my children top be aware of their gut feelings. You needs words to express those thoughts, so limiting the words you can use is somewhat Orwellian in that it policies your thoughts.
Creepy is different. It’s meaning is specific – Something is not right about this person, be careful, don’t get too close.
The term “bitch” or “a$$hole” or “d*ck” can mean: rude, nasty, mean, testy, moody, dumb, etc.
Jason is correct. It’s a gut feeling, and it shouldn’t be ignored.
So the statement, “Glen Urquhart is creepy” does show the proper use of the word “creepy.”
Yes. That is correct usage. Especially if he has a wide stance. In my comment above, “policies” should be polices.
And it has nothing to do with a guys looks.
It does, however, have a great deal to do with leisure suits.
The technical term applied to leisure suits is “icky.”
Pandora, I must disagree w/ you somewhat on this matter. I have seen women use “creepy” to describe men they thought unattractive and who were merely trying to get to know them. I have never witnessed a woman say it about an attractive man. I have sometimes thought that women use the term “creepy” to place the onus on the woman’s lack of interest in the man in something about his demeanor and not on their (the woman’s)superficial reaction to how the man looks. Now, of course, there are creepy men…and women. But I do think women use the term when they should instead simply frankly admit “I am not physically attracted to that guy.”
Tim Geithner
it has a lot to do with looks. Not for YOU. not for enlightened educated women. Like i said, petty immature people misuse the term and it has the same effect….. ive actually heard the exchange “oh that guy is a creep” “no he’s not, he’s hot!” There are a lot of petty people out there.
however, even having been branded “creepy” myself… which was all social awkwardness, not malevolent motives… Im on the creep-shaming side when it comes to most of the LOLmen who are called “creeps”
“Men don’t like to be called “creepy””, and women don’t like to be called “crazy”.
“Creepy” scares woman, and “crazy” scares men.
I think there is a difference between the noun “creep” and the adjective “creepy.”
I don’t know if I can quantify it, but I think a “creep” is less alarming than to get the feeling of “creepy.”
If it makes any sense I think the two very similar words describe distinctly different phases of discomfort.
You got that right bluehen. “That bitch was CRAZY!”
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I do think many men use the term “crazy” in the same way women use “creepy.” As in: There’s something wrong with her.
And there is a difference between “creep” and “creepy.”
From a woman’s perspective i dont dislike being called “crazy” because i think “crazy scares men”
I dont like being called crazy because i feel like it’s an attempt to dismiss my valid feeilngs. it’s an attack on the motivation. Gaslighting, if you will.
Im having trouble understand the difference…. isnt a “creep” “creepy”? A guy who is creepy is a creep… or a republican. (or john edwards)
It is probably an outdated stereotype, but men have less to fear from women, so “crazy” signals vague difficulties without the implied danger carried by creepy. Eg. “She is crazy, she’ll ask the waiter a million questions then always order from the children’s menu.”
V, that is the same feeling as nice but awkward guys who are called creeps….
The female equivalent isnt SUPPOSED (thats the key word) to be used to describe motivated, or slightly odd, yet kind and genuinely nice women… but rather someone whom it would be close to impossible to have any kind of healthy relationship with because of moral deficiencies on their part.
Jason, im more thinkin… “she’s crazy… she’ll try and sleep with all your friends and get drunk and pick a fight with your mom at thanksgiving diner before she steals your credit cards and runs off with the pool boy”
like “he’s creepy, he’ll try and sleep with all your friends and force you on to dangerous diets”
i think i would find it cute if i took a lady on a date and she actually tried to order from the kid’s menu
There is a perception that shyness that is sometimes misinterpreted as creepiness by some women. Sometimes guys get flustered; sometimes they say or do the wrong thing, due to nerves and/or self-loathing yes, I agree with you; it’s a gut feeling feeling for sure. But that feeling needs to be backed up with an action, such as lying, trickery, ogling, converting to mormanism, and such before accusations are made. Some geeks are creepy, but not all creeps are geeks.
When you were here before
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fucking special
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell I’m doing here?
I don’t belong here
She’s running out the door
She’s running out
She runs runs runs
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here
see when i meet a shy awkward person i dont think he’s creepy. i think he’s awkward. Like “oh man, that guy means well but he is super awkward. I’m going to go now.” When a guy says something to me and i want to CRAWL OUT OF MY SKIN, that guy is creepy.
I think there’s less of you than people who would just say “OMG, like, that guy is a total creep? dont talk to him or you’ll totes end up in his freezer?”
1 million years of evolution dictates that introversion is inherently creepier than extroversion. I’m not saying it is right, but lets be real. What are those quiet types hiding?
Those quiet types are hiding profound revolutionary thoughts.
What are the extroverts hiding? You’d swear my wife was a tough old bird. She takes no crap at work, or when we go out. But, if we watch a sensitive movie she is ballin her eyes out. I call her The Iron Marshmallow.
I have met MANY attrractive “creeps” or “creepy” guys
it when they lean into your space and look at you like you are on the menu – that is creepy
or then lean into your space and you can imagine drool froming at the sides of their mouth from the oogling
or they dont look you in the eyes but stare at your breasts instead – openly
or look you up and down like your are some piece of meat
that is what creepy guys do – and there is a difference between an apparaising/appreciative look and a look that says “i want to devour you” and not in the good sense
those are like the guys with too much saliva when they kiss – UGH!
Creeps you out