Silent Auction Items Needed – See below
Celebrate The Season! with
Republican State Committee Headquarters
3301 Lancaster Pike Suite 4B
Wilmington, DE 19805
Thursday, December 13, 2007 5:30p.m.
The College Republicans will have a silent auction– if you would like to donate an item to the auction, please contact Priscilla, priscilla@dca.net
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So let’s think up some fitting items. I’ll start…
1) What’s left of Mike Castle’s integrity. Yes it is in shreds but should still be worht six or seven bucks to someone.
2) A map to Lofink’s hideout. I can think of a NJ reporter (yes I’m looking at you Chris Barrish you fraud) who might bid on that.
a copy of the constitution
a golden drawer with a bunch of bills stuffed in
get out of jail free card
A lunch date with Ferris Wharton’s passenger
John Carney’s Dem nomination to run against him.
Week-long stay at Gitmo — all inclusive of being test subject for waterboarding practice.
A pair of Tom Wagner’s suspenders (especially useful for hooking your thumbs in when you are “miffed.”)
Do-it-yourself home waterboarding kit.
The secret chalice where Lord Voldestrine keeps his soul.
One 14 year old Boy Scout.
The legendary prohpecy of who will be the next GOP State Chair, Harry Protack or Slytherin Burris.
I can’t imagine this going on much longer before Jason gets an irate phone call from the GOP HQ.
An autographed sanitary toilet seat cover personally used by Larry Craig with more stains than a Monica Lewinsky dress.
The complete set of pink postcards (suitable for framing).
Ownership of a dozen frozen embryos labeled “For Research”
A State check drawn on someone else’s escheat account.
One Do-It-Yourself Sue a Blogger Kit. Includes the requisite Standards of Evidence for Dummies book.
New Years Eve limo service provided by John Atkins from Seacrets to your home.
10 percentage points in any General Assembly election.
I have to go before I get in trouble. I’m actually crying I’m laughing so hard.
Mike Protack’s wireless ESSID and encryption key.
Mike Protack’s wireless ESSID and encryption key.
It’s “linksys”
For your pet — a day-long ride along with Mitt Romney and family. Your pet riding inside the car with Mitt is the next auction item.
A free night’s babysitting from “See-No-Evil Child Care Services.”
A dog. (suitable for companionship or drowning)
Assorted zoning variances.
A Delaware Senate Tribute to John Still, not signed by anyone.
David Vitter’s Little Black Book. Good for dates in DC and New Orleans.
Get your own “props”.
A State Department job in Iraq.
Pulp Fiction meets Gitmo:
15 minutes in a room with a tied up al Qaeda suspect. No cameras, no witnesses armed only with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.
Someone to run against Joe Biden.
A Mike Protack push poll recorded on your home answering machine.
An Easy-to-Learnt CD collection of “You to can do ‘Sipherin’ and ‘Rithmatic” by Richard Cordry with commentary by the Honorable Tom Wagner.
One free blog writeup on DelawareWatch touting you as a “progressive Republican.”
The Official GOP dart-board, with a picture of Minner on one side, and a picture of Protack on the other (the one with the smaller mustache is Protack)
34 & 35 bravo !
Print-your-own absentee ballots pre-signed by registered (but dead) voters.
Celia Cohen backrubs (“happy ending” add $25.00)
Candies and flowers left over from our glorious “welcome” from the long suffering Iraqi people.
Solvent to remove purple dye from finger.
Have you forwarded this thread to Priscilla at the Young Thugrublicans yet?
Do-it-yourself overtime sheets for State employees.
disbelief Says:
December 10, 2007 at 2:08 pm
The Official GOP dart-board, with a picture of Minner on one side, and a picture of Protack on the other (the one with the smaller mustache is Protack)
Thanks, I enjoyed that one.
Mike
A personal consultation with Wilmington City Councilman Mike Brown guaranteed to leave you with the latest fashion tips to achieve the absolute latest in repub sartorial splendor.
And Donviti is not allowed to bid on #44 — the world is simply not ready.
The key to Christine O’Donnell’s chastity belt.
oh come on!
bottle of wine, chauffer and a hand written letter of repute by Dave Burris
A gift certificate good for one helicopter ride between Beebe Medical Center and Christiana Hopsital. (with ventilator add $50.00)
A wind power special from Delmarva CEO
Bravo, Donviti! (#50)
5 free massage sessions with Jeff Gannon.
A photoshopped picture of St. Ronnie on the face of Mt. Rushmore.
We’ve decided that offering the opportunity to haul up that mountain enough silly putty to do it yourself is beyond the means of this crowd.
“Have a great day” buttons.
This post shall live in infamy.
Tom Carper’s soul.
Two free “switch your party” voter registration forms.
“Two free “switch your party” voter registration forms.”
Who would pay for those when you can get them for free at any event for Jack “I need R’s because I can’t get enough D’s” Markell?
BTW, this has to be one of the 10 most classic DE Blogosphere threads of 2007.
A couple of really stupid comments, but hey, it’s you guys, so the expectation level is not high. Overall, very funny.
Merci!
Dave, are you giving Dem’s campaign advice now? We’d kind of like you to stick with R’s. Reasoning is obvious.
How about a proper prison raping?
…Cause it’s all about the POWER, not love. And that’s what they’re into – strong daddies that will protect them for protection in return – right?
I don’t think you’ll get too many bids on a free prison rape.
Not even the GOP-curious, like Craig & Foley?