There’s a Knot in My Stomach

Filed in Delaware, National by on February 11, 2009

I’ve been walking around with a knot in my stomach for months, only I didn’t realize it until yesterday… as I unpacked the groceries.  Where were the fruits and vegetables?  Surely I bought them, but when I looked at the counter the evidence of being a bad mother hit me between the eyes.  Bad mother, but fiscally smart shopper?

When had this happened?  Now, I have always price shopped, and I remember standing in the produce section.  I remember looking at the prices of oranges, shaking my head before moving onto asparagus.  Did I actually dismiss my way through the entire department?  Apparently I did, if the contents on my counter are to be believed.

But the really scary thing was the familiarity of the groceries I had purchased.  I had seen them before, years ago, when the kids were infants and my husband was in graduate school and… we were broke.  

Okay, before you start sending me checks, let me make clear that we aren’t broke.  We do quite well and are fortunate that job loss isn’t on the horizon (yet?).  So why am I shopping like we’re one step away from a soup kitchen?

Enter the knot in my stomach, or what the economists call lack of consumer confidence.  

Go on, tell me the market will bounce back.  I’m still not shopping.  Give me a tax cut.  Still not shopping. Say I’m over-reacting.  Don’t care, I won’t shop.  And it seems most Americans agree with me.  Are we all walking around with knots in our stomachs?

And doesn’t part of solving this economic crisis involve untying these knots. Isn’t part of the solution psychological?

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A stay-at-home mom with an obsession for National politics.

Comments (49)

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  1. anon2700 says:

    You just smashed the nail into the block of wood with a single blow.

    It’s fear. And it’s a vicious, vicious cycle.

  2. it’s only going to get worse….and maybe it has to get a lot worse before it gets a lot better.

    amazingly enough, the only person going to jail for this is Bernie Madoff

  3. Karmicjay says:

    I am pretty pesimistic about the future of this nation. Not much yet has inspired confidence in me, so I am tightening the belt too.

  4. Unstable Isotope says:

    I survived the job cutting (this time at least) but I’m still watching my spending as much as possible. I haven’t got to the point where I’m canceling phone or cable yet, though. It’s mostly bargain shopping and no credit cards.

  5. jason330 says:

    When I told my chauffeur to brush up his resume he told me that he would continue working even if I couldn’t pay him because it was a privilege to just be around me.

  6. jason330 says:

    (That was for Hube.)

  7. Mrs XStryker says:

    For the record, I wish I were sensible enough to shop like you, Pandora. 🙂

  8. pandora says:

    Sensible didn’t enter into it, or else my kids would have fresh fruit and vegetables! What bothered me the most was my omitting produce wasn’t really a conscious decision. I was focusing on the bottom line at the check-out counter.

    This is my mindset, which is why I was wondering if part of the solution to our economic crisis is psychological. Will there come a time where we will need to fake it, until we make it?

  9. Mrs XStryker says:

    Hahaha, fake it till you make it is a personal mantra of mine these days. I should use it in a song. Hmmm…

  10. Truth Teller says:

    Jump in the car and go to the market in Marcus Hook or better yet 9th street in philly

  11. pandora says:

    TT, I can afford produce – although I do visit Produce Junction. My main point was sorta… WTF was I thinking?

  12. RSmitty says:

    We do quite well and are fortunate that job loss isn’t on the horizon (yet?).

    So…what is that field, anyway? Allowed to tell? For those of you that know me (and my job), you know my nerves are jumbled up every day.

    P.S.: P – Got your email. I agree. Will follow up later on.

  13. Unstable Isotope says:

    Have you ever tried the Newark Farmer’s Market on Kirkwood Highway (across from the YMCA)? The prices there are quite reasonable.

  14. pandora says:

    Smitty, the field is Environmental Engineering/Occupational Health and Safety, and it was a mid-thirties career change. Never too late.

    P.S. – Glad you’re still speaking to me! 😉

  15. RSmitty says:

    I was up late on Monday night and caught something on Channel 10. This link takes you to the web-site story. There are links at the bottom. It was on coupon-geeks (I am becoming one) and how they look at blogs, etc. for sales to combine with their pieces of paper. The links for their sites are at the bottom of the article.

    Naturally, the example they had on the news was the woman had a $130+ shopping trip reduced to $1.30+. OK…not easy and time consuming. I will say, though, that my personal best was a $300+ (low $300’s) taken down to $180+. Not too shabby!!!

  16. RSmitty says:

    Glad you’re still speaking to me!

    I can be bitchy (not to you, of course), but this partisan crap never trumps friendship!!!

  17. arthur says:

    When you are focusing on the bottom line at the check out counter, consider the additional DR’s bills when your kids aren’t getting their necessary vitamins.

  18. pandora says:

    Do you work at being an ass, Arthur, or does it come naturally?

  19. Unstable Isotope says:

    This is exciting! It looks like soon there will be a device to measure how much energy you’re using. I’m going to get one.

  20. Sharon says:

    Go on, tell me the market will bounce back. I’m still not shopping. Give me a tax cut. Still not shopping.

    Maybe you need some of the money that’s going to the NEA. That’ll get you shopping.

  21. cassandra_m says:

    I don’t have any room at my house for one, but is anyone planning on putting in a big vegetable garden this year as a way to reduce food bills?

    I’m looking forward to the seasonal Farmer’s Markets opening — I think that many of them are very good deals over the supermarkets. And if you can join a CSA the price really goes down, but then you are almost a vegetarian for the summer.

    One more thing — I always find the green grocer at the Riverfront Market to be a good deal on good veggies and fruit.

  22. pandora says:

    Typical Sharon. Whatever would wingnuts do without the NEA. Hmmm… maybe address the point of a post?

  23. jason330 says:

    How does Sharon always manage to one-up herself when it comes to proving that she is a moron?

  24. cassandra_m says:

    Hey UI! I heard about that Powermeter thing on NPR this morning. I want one too, but thought I heard you have to have a Smart Meter installed by your power company.

  25. Suzanne says:

    I have been much more careful too. We go a lot to Bylers in Dover and we purchase a lot in bulk now. I find myself looking at the sunday paper ads again, something I didn’t do before.
    I have a 14 year old that is trying to eat me out of the house anyway..sigh

  26. Phantom says:

    Pandora,
    It is fear that you are describing about things that are completely out of control. The only problem with fear is that it becomes cyclical and everyone starts acting that way and in so doing you are actually harming yourself. What needs to be done is for people to targe thier spending towards areas that offer significant benefits for growth and opportunity. For example, changing your vehicle to something smaller and better will help by subsidizing a dealership that sells those vehicles, the manufacturer that makes the vehicles, and the mechanics and such needed to maintain the vehicles while also reducing your long term energy consumption. If instead you pull back as everyone else does and tries to save your way out of this mess what happens is the mess keeps growing exponentially larger b/c the said dealership and manufacturer and mechanics start having to close and then supply becomes very limited which drives up costs even further which in turn means lower employment for everyone. Unfortunately in these circumstances the best method to survive while not helping to destroy the economy is by reasonably using your spending ability (still try to find deals) but not worrying about things beyond your control. All that does is bring home the fear and makes it closer to reality. I’m not advocating a spending spree but any savings you try to accumulate are earning almost 0-3% interest which is almost like storing it in your mattress. Right now you would get a better return on spending the money on an item that offers long term benefits or obtaining an experience that was unreachable previously (trips, etc.).

  27. Ann Mack says:

    I wish more stores accepted the internet coupons, but unfortunately they don’t. And when the hell did the coupons we clip only become valid for 30 days? Just sorting through them on the way to the store is a part-time job. Anyway, we aren’t broke either, but I have become very list oriented. I have a list on the fridge that we compile as we take the last of anything in our stock, including toiletries. When I take it down and go to the store, if it’s not on the list, it doesn’t come home. Impulse shopping is the easiest way to double your grocery bill and the grocery stores are becoming very creative in their displays to get your dollars on things you don’t really want/need. Be strong! Pandora, I understand what you mean. Waiting for that other shoe to drop sure does stir up the stomach acid. Just put Prilosec on your list.

  28. meatball says:

    I’ve had a fairly large garden for years. The only way you actually save a few pennies even over grocery store produce prices is to freeze or can your stuff. You see when your garden is putting out, so are all the local farmer’s fields so produce prices drop.

    I do it for the sheer enjoyment plus I grow a few things that are not grown in quantity around here. I also grow turnips pretty much all year ’round for my chickens. That has saved me a good bit over the winter, although feed prices have come down recently.

    Bottom line is there are alot of pluses to growing your own, but after you consider labor and energy, you’re not really saving any money, especially on the small scale.

  29. liz says:

    Get a good cook book. Look at your stocks and cook accordingly. We have lots of stuff we are not using and going to waste. I have found some wonderful receipes that in the past wouldnt have considered. Everyone better rip out your flower beds and throw in some veggies. Container planting is good too. As an ole farm girl if you want to save….buy a small freezer for your bumper crop, buy jars now if your going to can (cuz they will be gone). Buy seeds from Burpee or a company that have seeds not treated with chemicals, they are going fast too.

    Shop at the Goodwill or get some friends together and have a swap party. Everyone brings a clothing item and throw them in pile, you leave with something new and have a good time too. Great for kids clothing.

    These are things my mother taught me from going through the great depression.

  30. Susan Regis Collins says:

    Bernie Madoff is in jail (or going to jail)??? Who knew………

    We live in the city and plant a small veggie garden in our front yard…..you can produce some fantastic herbs too.

  31. RSmitty says:

    I started with a small veggie garden a couple of years ago, at the request of my then-4-year-old. Glad I listened! I relocated it last year to a better spot for sun angle and future expansion possibility. Also, I am teaching myself the art of composting, so this year will be an interesting one for me in how that turns out. We tend to be HUGE tomato consumers in the warm months, so we will have plenty of those (as we did the last two years) and will give another go at green beans. Tried peas the first year, but they are very heat-adverse, so forget them in the summer months. We did pumpkins last year, but planted them a little late, so the kids had green jack-o-lanters (they thought it was funny), but the treats made from the innerds were awesome still!!!

  32. Sharon says:

    Typical Sharon. Whatever would wingnuts do without the NEA. Hmmm… maybe address the point of a post?

    Well, I could address the rest of the pork in the “stimulus” bill, or the spending that is just normal stuff that should go through the normal debate process. But no, Democrats don’t want to actually defend their spending, so they tie it up in this package and try to tell us it will create jobs…because even though the jobs created by this plan are infinitely more expensive than private sector jobs, it’s ok because IT’S NOT THEIR MONEY. It’s our grandchildren’s money we’re spending!

    Now, to address you directly, Pandora, I can’t imagine being so fearful that I’d pass up buying healthy food for my children. No matter how tight my budget gets–and it’s been there–I can still find cash for fruits and vegetables. So, stop buying crap and buy the stuff you should for your kids. That advice stands in good times and in bad, btw.

    And Jason, no one can approach your level of idiocy.

  33. jason330 says:

    Sharon,

    Your point (as usual) is moot. President Obama is saving your dumb ass inspite of your stupid self.

  34. cassandra_m says:

    Well, you didn’t do very well on the NEA the last time you brought that wingnut radio bull over here. Supporting the arts does keep people working, altho I do understand that when your view of the arts is limited to As the World Turns, you may not quite grasp that.

  35. Phantom says:

    Wow Sharon,
    Your level of reality distortion is BUSH like. So when tax cuts occur are you saying that the government should consider that it is giving away its money. I mean b/c if the government had not gone on a binge spending spree under BUSH using tax cuts then we might actually have some revenue to pay for the programs that are now needed. As for the argument that it is our grandchildren’s money that never seemed to cross anyone’s mind when tax cuts were unveiled. I mean tax cuts involve giving away our grandchildren’s money without any benefit for them. At least with spending they should see some infrastructure improvement, green energy jobs, EDUCATION (so they won’t be like you and not understand how things work) etc.
    BTW the private sector only drives down the cost of jobs when there are existing businesses that compete with each other. In a situation like now those businesses have closed and therefore the government as the employer will actually obtain a cheaper and more cost effective rate for work.

  36. pandora says:

    Democrats don’t defend their spending? Where is the Republican defense of their spending for the last eight years?

  37. cassandra_m says:

    Meatball’s point about gardens and putting stuff up is a good one — but if you have the labor and the space (for the garden and the canned or frozen stuff) it can help. It depends if you are adding labor to an already swamped person or taking hands away from video games, I guess.

    Plus — homemade items from your garden are really nice presents too.

  38. pandora says:

    We plant a small garden every year – limited space due to city living – and I have a great herb garden year round (courtesy of a solarium. Gotta love old houses!)

  39. Sharon says:

    Your point (as usual) is moot. President Obama is saving your dumb ass inspite of your stupid self.

    Um, no, Obama’s worsening the recession by doing all the things that will cause less growth. Such as scaring dumbasses like yourself into buying crap or not spending at all. But please. Keep defending we piddle around programs.

    And I brought up the NEA and all you said was, “uh, no, it creates LOTS of jobs!” I didn’t bother reading more because, frankly, reading your talking points is bad for intelligence. Look, if you want to support the arts, then do it. But telling me that supporting 4 people in the city on arts education is worth the millions in taxpayer money it costs is ridiculous and cost inefficient. You mean no one would support the opera if the government didn’t do it? Who knew?

    Phantom, the big difference in tax cuts, the difference you don’t seem to notice is that the person getting the cut actually generated income that was theirs in the first place. When you tax people, you’re taking their money from them. So, your argument is that people don’t have a right to the income they produce, or that it’s selfish to think that, gosh, it’s my money or your money to spend as you (or I) see fit. So, if I want to spend it on the opera, then I can do it. But it’s not the government’s responsibility to steal it to spend on such programs.

    And no, Democrats don’t defend their spending. Well, they do by claiming that it’s ok to spend it because they haven’t gotten the chance to rob our grandchildren for about 20 years. I mean, that sort of logic works real well, doesn’t it?

    Now, I’ll leave you to argue about how smart you are and how much smarter you are than dumb ol’ me who only has a job, a house, kids, and still manages to feed them healthy food in good economies and bad ones. You just tell yourselves that I’m not answering because I don’t have one, as opposed to the truth that I’m movin’ on.

  40. cassandra_m says:

    What an idiot you are, Sharon.

    Spending rationales have been all over since December. You actually need to turn off your radio and go read a few. Google is your friend.

    But then, As the World Turns probably isn’t off yet.

  41. pandora says:

    Where was this concern for our grandchildren’s future over the last 8 years? You, Sharon, are a hypocrite.

  42. liz says:

    Sharon, your crowned prince the “idiot son” just blew a deficit and destroyed the country finances. Where was your voice while he and his banker/gangster cronies robbed this country?

    You are obviously an elitist, with the brain cells of a nat. Hypocrite is too nice a word. Brain dead is more appropriate.

  43. Phantom says:

    So Sharon all taxes are just a form of stealing from an individual? If the the government was already collecting that money (a sunk cost to the individual) then to give it back is to waste our grandchildren’s future government budget so that we can enrich ourselves. Which also leads to money being distributed to the lowest common denominator (a person) and thereby having the least effectiveness on stimulating the economy and bettering the lives of everyone in society. Instead what happens is that those that are already living well beyond average means are getting boatloads of new money to just store away and do nothing with (see CEO tax cuts). In the meantime the government that doesn’t provide anything is responsible for roads, safety, courts, licensing, etc. but with less money can do less things for the good of all. Then we start with selling the roads to private companies who TAX (yes you read that right a private company can create a tax. I know that blows your beliefs out of the water but since your beliefs didn’t hold any water I figured it wouldn’t be too much of a burden.) travelers to ride on the road and they keep upping the rates in order to maintain the road. In the meantime there are not any back roads b/c the government is not maintaining those roads but gave you back the money you would need to build and maintain those roads. So now you just were nice enough to distribute your tax savings to a private company with limitless profit potential and destroyed the infrastructure at the same time. Great Job Sharon. Hopefully your kids live long enough to be able to survive your stupidity and they don’t bear the price for it.

  44. anon2700 says:

    Sharon wrote: “Now, to address you directly, Pandora, I can’t imagine being so fearful that I’d pass up buying healthy food for my children. No matter how tight my budget gets–and it’s been there–I can still find cash for fruits and vegetables. So, stop buying crap and buy the stuff you should for your kids. That advice stands in good times and in bad, btw.”

    Sharon,

    pandora wasn’t saying she consciously passed up fruits & veggies for her kids. She’s saying that when she went through the grocery store on autopilot – and who among us hasn’t shopped in a daze? – her mind was focused overwhelmingly on the bottom line, and so that’s what her purchases reflected.

    I hope I summarized that properly.

    Personally, I write a list before going to the store, and when I’m on a full stomach. If it’s not on the list – unless it’s something I realize we need when I’m going down the aisles with my daughter, like we’re down to one roll of TP – I don’t get it. And it’s tough with a 4-year-old, let me tell you! 🙂

  45. pandora says:

    anon2700, thank you for summarizing perfectly. I had a list, but listed fruit and vegetables generically – as in whatever was on sale.

    Shopping with a 4 year old? Oh, the memories, and exhaustion!

  46. Suzanne says:

    is it full moon today?
    Sharon is being a butt here, I had some “anonymous” blogger being a jerk on my blog – must be time for the monthly chill pill.
    Pandora – I totoally understood what you meant. I do the same thing. I go to the store and at times I bypass the fruits and veggies becuase they are too expensive or they look like crap. In my mind I calcualte how many dinners I can make from what I am buying etc. – and I list fruits and veggies often just as a category as well. Luckily I always have a supply of frozen veggies LOL

    “S….o, stop buying crap and buy the stuff you should for your kids. …”

    I didn’t know that everything other then fruits and veggies is crap.

  47. liz says:

    Most Americans eat too much meat. My doc keeps telling me to cut all meat portions to the size of double 50cent piece…there are too many cheap great vegetable dishes, more nutrients and healthy. During the great depression you would lucky if you had chicken on sunday. Our kids are not eating enough vegetables, giving them crap out of box is the absolute worst. If you can find a “Grange” cookbook, you will eat healthy foods and much cheaper.

  48. David says:

    Liz is correct. I take back the slightly snide comment on the other post.

    I will point out the reason that vegetables are so expensive this winter is that the water rations have been decimated to CA farms in order to insure the smelts aren’t hurt. Blame rich environmentalists.