Will the REAL Christians please stand up!?

Filed in National by on July 10, 2007

Someone please pass the popcorn…

The Vatican set itself on a collision course with other Christian faiths Tuesday, reaffirming the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church in a corrective document which it said was designed to clear up recent “erroneous” doctrine.

The document’s central claim, that only the Catholic Church is “the one true Church of Christ”, is likely to revive a debate which has dogged the Vatican’s relationship with rival Christian denominations for decades.

That’s the Pope talking baby!! All you Roman’s better say a “hail mary” and get ready to battle those apostate heathen Baptists, Lutherans and Evanglical Church of God types who claim to be followers of Christ.

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (35)

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  1. Oh my…somewhere Paul Smith Jr. is smiling.

  2. donviti says:

    I can’t wait till the Pope says to chop off some heads…..again! woooohooooooo

  3. Alan Coffey says:

    The Inquisition, the Inquisition, ain’t we got fun!
    … Mel Brooks I believe.

  4. anon says:

    So Baptists and Pentecostals – remember this next time you line up with the Catholics at the abortion protest.

  5. Chris says:

    So I guess I will just add “organized religion” to the long list of things you guys hate.

  6. jason330 says:

    Heritic,

    It is okay to hate organized religions that aren’t Catholic. Didn’t you read the post?

  7. Ryan S. says:

    “But I’m not speaking against [Presidential Candidate Gov. Mitt Romney] being a Mormon. In fact, I consider all religions equal. And by equal, I mean they’re all tied for 2d place behind Catholicism.”
    -Stephen Colbert

  8. Dorian Gray says:

    Chris –
    Speaking for myself only, I loathe organized religion because it makes claims about absolute truths that it can’t possibly know. The Catholic Church is the one true Church of Christ. Says who, Christ? Did he mention that in casual conversation last Tuesday?

    It’s all so utterly ridiculous. Throughout history these bogus claims have been proven false time and time again. Then “official doctrine” gets whittled down and rewritten. IT’S ALL CLEARLY FAKE! Get a grip man.

    Religion poisons everything.

    DG

  9. Ryan S. says:

    Actually, Dorian, he did say it…

    Matthew 16:18: 18And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

  10. jason330 says:

    So Ryan – does this mean that you are gearing up for the Catholic jihad against Godless protestantism.

    Or are you going to sit out this fight as well?

  11. donviti says:

    ryan,

    so I missed the word Catholic in that phrase, can you write it again with it in there…

    maybe the bible has a typo it replaced rock with Catholic.

    So do you take the bible literally then ryan? or do you just pick and choose which passages apply to you?

  12. Ryan S. says:

    Jason, the Pope said nothing about fighting Protestants.

    Well Christ said (the Aramaic word for) ‘church,’ and at the beginning there was only one. The word “catholic” if you’re unaware, means universal.

    You know, donviti, maybe if you actually read some stuff I wrote rather than just mishmashing stereotypes of people you see on paid-for televangelism and FoxNews you might learn something:
    http://www.jokerstotheright.com/2007/06/on-science-and-religion.html

    The Bible is literally true.

  13. jason330 says:

    Ryan –

    I read you post just now.

    I think you meant to say – “The Bible, which employs literary devices such as metaphor and allegory, is the true word of God.”

    Big difference.

  14. Von Cracker says:

    The bible is “literally” true. And I know this because the bible says so! Ha!

    It is also “literally” true too that Klingons are the most baddest-ass species in the entire Universe. How do I know this? The movies and TV shows told me so!

    To me, the bible is misogynistic, authoritarian version of Aesop’s fables. So if an old fuddy-duddy in Prada shoes tells me his church is the only true one, well, it makes me laugh when I think of the childish, nonsense reasoning of it all…

  15. donviti says:

    ryan,

    great post.

    I’ll make sure to link to it when I reference ways to contradict oneself in 5 sentences or less.

    Hi,My name is Ryan I take the bible literally, not literally, meaning literally, but literal in a non literal sense.

    you see I believe what I believe to be literal and what the bible says to me is literally true, therefor I believe in all things the bible says to be literal.

    Literaly, I am right because to me literally can mean so many different things, literally speaking of course.

  16. Ryan S. says:

    Catholicism is a pretty reasoned faith, with it’s propositions logically consistent.

    However, it does take a certain degree of faith. I take that the Bible is true on faith.

    At least I can acknowledge when my dogmatic claims are such.

  17. Ryan S. says:

    donviti, the smallness of your mind and utter lack of imagination continue to astound me.

  18. donviti says:

    right back at ya…..literally

  19. donviti says:

    ryan,

    lets just take a little looksy at this quote from your link:

    Let’s take the beginning. Genesis says that God created the world in six days. Considering that we measure ‘day’ and ‘night’ by the movements of the sun, and the sun isn’t created until Day Four (Gn 1:14-19), it seems odd that the ‘days’ in Genesis Chapter One would refer to 24-hour periods. Maybe it was millennia, maybe it was an instant, I don’t know. The use of the word ‘day’ seems most likely as a helper for human beings to understand the order of creation, maybe, as opposed to the particular details. I say leave the geology to the geologists. They are a better source for how old the Earth is, though they probably can’t explain fully how it got here.

    I don’t know about you Ryan, but if you took the bible literally then a day would be 24 hours. You aren’t taking it literally though, you are tweeking it to mean what YOU want it to mean bc you know damn well it wasn’t created in a day.

    that ain’t literal my friend, that is called an interpretation.

    Let me give you a clue as to what literal would be.

    a day = 24 hours it has since well since the begining of time, which by your beloved book says was a few thousand years ago…literally.

    So if a day is 24 hours, which it is, and the bible says that on the first day God created light, then literally god created light in 24 hours. If you don’t believe that, well small mind or not, then you don’t believe the bible, literally.

    but please if I’m wrong Jason, Von, Dorian, let me know. I welcome the correction

    literally

  20. Ryan S. says:

    Main Entry: 1 lit·er·al
    Variant(s): /’li-t(&-)r&l/
    Function: adjective
    Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Medieval Latin litteralis, from Latin, of a letter, from littera letter

    1 a : according with the letter of the scriptures

    b : adhering to fact or to the ordinary construction or primary meaning of a term or expression : ACTUAL

    c : free from exaggeration or embellishment

    d : characterized by a concern mainly with facts

    2 : of, relating to, or expressed in letters

    3 : reproduced word for word : EXACT, VERBATIM

  21. jason330 says:

    DV –

    Using words to mean the opposite of what they really mean is a Republican thing – you wouldn’t understand.

  22. donviti says:

    i’m not sure what he just proved with his definition of literal, but i’m pretty sure it helped me out.

    jason, thanks, I don’t know what I was thinking.

  23. Ryan S. says:

    Day doesn’t always mean 24-hours.

    For example, before we started measuring “days” as 24-hour periods, day meant when the sun was in the sky. I could also refer to an era, such as “Back in my day…”

    Words have many meanings, and interpretation is necessary to discern what meaning is most appropriate.

  24. Chris says:

    So in all this riveting theological debate what really got lost was a refuting of my initial statement:

    “So I guess I will just add “organized religion” to the long list of things you guys hate.”

    Once again the loving, embracing liberals show their true colors….

    BTW, I am NOT catholic and I perceived no threat in what the Pope said. I do disagree with the Catholic church on occasion, and do not believe in the infallibility of the Pope, but I still respect him as the head of the world’s largest (and oldest) Christian denomination.

    Sorry you hate us so much…not surprised…but sorry.

  25. Jason330 says:

    Hate is such a clumsy 3rd grade vocabulary word to describe it. I would say “ridicule” or maybe “find mockable” something like that.

  26. Chris says:

    “Hate is such a clumsy 3rd grade vocabulary word to describe it. I would say “ridicule” or maybe “find mockable” something like that.”

    Don’t spin it! It is what it is. Hate! If someone dares suggest that they don’t find the gay lifestyle “normal” or “natural”, they are immediately labeled as “hate-mongers”. Should someone question some actions embraced by “black culture”, they will be labeled a hating racist. Any conservative that decries liberalism is full of “hate-speech”. Face it man! Embrace it man! You “HATE” organized religion.

  27. jason330 says:

    Silly. I am a liberal and an active member of my Church. I hate a lot of stuff. Injustice, greed, evil (eg. Dick Cheney) – but not organized religion.

    I was talkign about you when I said mockable. Sorry about not being more clear.

  28. Chris says:

    “I was talkign about you when I said mockable. Sorry about not being more clear.”

    Sorry my friend…you were ABUNDANTLY clear! My initial assertion still stands.

  29. anon says:

    I am a liberal and an active member of my Church

    Yeah, but why bother, if you aren’t Catholic you may as well just hang it up now.

  30. Dorian Gray says:

    The bible is a joke. I direct you to any serious criticism that was undertaken by a scholar that didn’t already think the bible is literally true. (Try Bart Ehrman first.)

    The new testament support slavery in 2 Paul epistles. And don’t even get me started on the old testament.

    DO NOT use lame ass biblical quotations to attempt to make rationale points in conversation with literate adults.

  31. Dorian Gray says:

    I just read more closely Ryan’s “arguments”. A day may not be a 24 hours day. Jesus fucking Christ dude, the mental gymnastics it requires to actually pull all this bullshit together is astonishing.

    I read books and use my imagination as well. I find them in the library under fiction.

  32. jason330 says:

    Ehrman became an Evangelical Christian as a teen. He attended Moody Bible Institute and Wheaton College (B.A., 1978). His desire to know the original words of the Bible led him to textual criticism, which in turn undermined his faith in the Bible as the inerrant word of God. Ehrman now considers himself an agnostic. He appeared on The Colbert Report, as well as The Daily Show, in 2006 to promote his book Misquoting Jesus and was jokingly called an “atheist without balls” (alluding to his agnosticism) on national television by Stephen Colbert.[1]

    Wikipedia rocks.

  33. donviti says:

    I agree with Jason, I don’t hate the church in fact I go to church quite a few times a year. Not every Sunday anymore, but I do still go.

    My kids go, My parents both go every sunday, Heck my kids even went when we were in Mexico.

    so don’t go making assumptions that we hate organized religion.

    I can’t speak for anyone but I can say I HATE what the Evangelicals have done to politics and to this country.

    does that mean I hate organized religion? NO it means I hate the way they operate

  34. Dorian Gray says:

    Jason-
    “Misquoting Jesus” was good but “Lost Scriptures” and “Lost Christianities” were both better. I’m a huge fan of Ehrman by the way. He currently is the Dean of the Divinity School at UNC Chapel Hill.

  35. anon says:

    Gotta check this out:

    http://www.bushfish.org/

    I have to think this site is run by a liberal atheist who is laughing his ass of while making money off the fundies.

    Don’t forget to read the Letters page.