Every once in a while a bottle of bourbon ends up in the wrong hands at the wrong time and you end up with a wingnut post that makes all other wingnut posts look like they were written by Ryan S in the chilled out afterglow of a dry hump with a born again RNC intern. During those special times, it is fitting to honor the wingnuttery in extremis post with a line by line analyisis. Now is such a time. David Anderson has put up such a post. Let’s begin and I hope you have a strong stomach.
There is a movement sweeping the world. It is one based individual dignity, freedom of the marketplace, innovation of ideas, piety, and family. It is about advancing the best of human race, yet it is the most understood movement in the world.
Yeah..BOYZZZ….a typo in the first line that undermines the whole thing. You know he meant to say that conservatism is MISunderstood, but what the hey. The whole point of a wingnut creedo is to be misunderstood so you can continue to nuture the gripe. Am I right? And what better way to be misunderstood than to throw a typo into the first sentence.
Part of the confusion is due to the fact that conservatism is such a popular label. Racists, sexists, tyrants, and others have tried to claim its banner as their own. To a degree, you have to ask what are you trying to conserve? Such confusion has emerged that someone needs to take up the banner of defining for the people today’s conservative movement. I hope this will inspire someone to do so.
Okay. I have no idea what he is saying here, but I think it has something to do with the fact that “conservatism” contains the word “conserve” let’s read on and see wuz up wit dat?
In the past conservatives have been thought of as preferring institutions over the individual. Yet modern conservatism is as much about conserving the 18th century liberal values of individualism. We are conservative in the use of government. This is not some reflex reaction. Limited government is a core value because we understand that the degree to which government intrudes into an area is the degree individual sovereignty is compromised. We believe government power not only comes from the consent of the governed, but is the collective expression of individual rights of self defense.
In other words, “I learned a whole lot of words in college. Here are some of them …sovereignty…consent…collective…aint I smart?”
The government is charged with protecting people from the illegitimate use of force. You have a right to your life, liberty, and property. This is regardless of strength, wealth, or influence whether you are pre-born or aged or whether you are in a minority position in society or a majority. The first job of government is to prevent those who would take those rights from you whether a foreign or domestic source. No one even the government can take those rights from you without cause.
This is great. As I read this I feel like I am a space ship re-entering earth’s atmosphere after the pure vaccum of the thought in the fist couple of sentences. Now we are getting warm. I have hope that there is going to be a point to this after all.
Modern conservatives would say the next job of government is providing an infrastructure for the advancement of its people. Patents encourage innovation. Copyrights protect intellectual property (though recent changes are abusing this). Roads and frequency spectrum facilitate commerce. Education facilitates a citizenry which can prosper and govern itself.
Oh snap…! Did he just say conservatives want to create and “infrastructure?” I know some people in Minneapolis who would beg to differ.
Modern conservatism rejects bigotry as inconsistent with individual rights. If all individuals are equal, why would we have government banning some from participating in the marketplace? Why should some not have equal justice in the courts? Modern conservatives know that once you accept the demise of some one’s rights, you sow the seeds of undermining every one’s rights.
Uh…here is the thing about the poor “particpating” versus the rich “taking part” in the market place. The marketplace is like a bacon and egg breakfast. The chicken “takes part” in creating the breakfast and the pig “participates.”
Modern conservatives tend to distrust concentrations of power. The movement has expressed this with its anti-monopoly business policies; the rise of the evangelical movement in the Christian Church, which distrusts big religion; the call for deregulation and hands off by government; the effort for school choice, and the get back to family over the village movement.
We are talking about conservatives right? I’m losing the thread. Okay, I’m skipping some shit because this is just too damn boring.
Modern conservatives value science as a great tool but distrust it as a governor of our values. We believe science should be subject to values. Human cloning, human hybrids, genetic manipulation, human experimentation, and other controversies in science are addressed from how effect human dignity.
Modern conservatives want a government which is honest, efficient, fiscally responsible, and limited in scope. Why? Government like any other enterprise works best when it is on purpose. If government is trying to substitute for family, church, charity, and run businesses, it will not be governing. This will cause havoc and universal distress.
Why didn’t he just say, “Modern conservatives do not value science.” ? He could have saved about 30 words.
When looked at in this light, it is easy to see why this new century will become the conservative century. It is easy to say, “I am proud to be a modern conservative”. I hope this philosophical discussion inspires a vibrant exchange of vision.
I wish I could exchange my vision right now, but I am blinded by the stupidity. Like a mason jar full of grain I hope it wears off by tomorrow.