Cohenology 101: The Cohen-o-meter

On the heels of the Bullock rally, and as if on cue, Celia steps up to provide Castle with a cold compress for his head.

For those of you keeping score – Celia’s Castle stories fall into four categories:

1) The Cold Compress – these stories remind us that Castle has won elections with 70% of the vote and is first in the hearts of his country men.

2) The Back Rub -These stories also remind everyone of the 70% victories and tend to congratulate Castle for being such a great “bi-partisan” and a “class act.”

3) The Wet Sloppy Kiss – These stories extol Castle’s greatness in no uncertain terms. They tend to deal with some specific pork or accomplishment (even when the “accomplishment is not really an accomplishment. e.g. Stem Cells, Walking 50 feet) but they also remind everyone of the 70% victories and congratulate Castle for being such a great “bi-partisan” and a “class act.”

4) The Outright Blow Job – These pieces of disgusting hagiography tend to rant and rave at the mere mortals who have the gall to scurry around at the feet of the mighty Castle while they praise Castle in ways that make even the bloodless Mike Castle blush when he reads them.

As the election picks up steam help me place Cohen’s Castle stories into one of these four categories -it’s fun!!