Where are Jesus’ relatives today?

It’s a question that needs to be asked?  For those of you that take the Bible literally I’m sure you will back me up on this one

If Mary had a few other rug rats was this before or after Jesus? Was Jesus the oldest? You would think that they would be a pretty kick ass family no? I mean think about it, it would be like your brother being Michael Jordan right? Christ, you could just lay back and be like, hey I’m Jesus’ brother what’s your name? You could totally mack it at the local temple.

Or it could really suck.  Your mom would always be like, “Why can’t you be like Jesus?”

“Mom?  He is the son of God for christ’s sake”

I got another question, what did people say before Jesus came along?  Holy Moses?  Freaking Abraham? 

Well, anyway, as a catholic I don’t remember learning that he had brothers. Maybe that they were Joseph’s kids, but that didn’t square either, because I mean of all people to have brothers from another mother I wouldn’t think Jesus did…

Thanks for listening. I wonder if all those Spanish people named Jesus are long lost relatives?