UPDATED: Republican debate

Filed in National by on October 21, 2007

UPDATE:  Well, it looks like Huckabee won the battle of the quips. 

The morning news shows are swooning over this trifecta which hammers three GOP soft spots – Entitlements, War on Drugs and Hippies.

Gov. Mike Huckabee, addressing a looming crisis in health care.

“We’ve got a situation with 10,000 baby boomers a day signing up for Social Security, going into the Medicare system. And I just want to remind everybody when all the old hippies find out that they get free drugs, just wait until what that’s going to cost out there.”

Ms Laura at kos got it pretty much right. I would only add that Thompson memorized his lines better this time. Overall, it was pretty strange as they were all trying to swing for the fence and get that one ZINGER!! that would headline the morning shows tomorrow and go down in history as the best debate line since Reagan invented public speaking thereby winning the cold war.

Giuliani: “I rebuilt 9/11 with my bare hands and personally raised the children of all the fallen heroes in New York, in addition to lowering crime by 400% and giving every New Yorker a thousand dollars and a Christmas card.”

Romney: “Hillary Clinton wants to give terrorists keys to the White House. In Massachusetts, I personally stopped the marriage of a man and a horse, and secured our borders by ensuring that Massachusetts remained at least one state away from any other country. Hillary Clinton wants you to abort your child even if they’ve already been born!”

McCain: “When I was in ‘nam– that’s right, I was in ‘nam as a P.O.W.– we had Charlie all around us. Two of my buddies went down in the rice paddies of Da Nang, and I was still able to command the U.S. Navy and win World War II retroactively. Also I was in Vietnam, did you know that?”

Ron Paul: “Keep the government away from my tax dollars! What was the question again? I can’t hear you because I’m farking a hundred years old.”

Huckabee: “Jesus is Lord. Praise his name. Did I mention Jesus is Lord? Also, I’m changing my party from Republican to the ForJesus party.”

Everyone else: “Hey assholes, we’re running too. Ask us some questions!”

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

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