worry

Filed in National by on November 15, 2007

I can’t take full credit for this, although I did edit it.  H/T Gerinomo 

WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when

Offspring become accountable for their own

Actions?? Is there a wonderful moment when

Parents can become detached spectators in

The lives of their children and shrug, “It’s

Their life,” and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital

Corridor waiting for doctors to put a few

Stitches in my daughter’s head.? I asked, “When do

You stop worrying?”? The nurse said,

“When they get out of the accident stage.”? My

Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little

Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my

Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,

And was headed for a career making

License plates.? As if to read my mind, a teacher

Said, “Don’t worry, they all go through

This stage and then you can sit back, relax and

Enjoy them.”? My dad just smiled

Faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime

Waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come

Home, the front door to open.? A friend said,

“They’re trying to find themselves.? Don’t worry,

In a few years, you can stop worrying.? They’ll be

Adults.”? My dad just smiled faintly

And said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being

Vulnerable.? I was still worrying over my

Children, but there was a new wrinkle.? There

Was nothing I could do about it.? My

Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.? I

Continued to anguish over their failures, be

Tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in

Their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I

Could stop worrying and lead my own

Life.? I wanted to believe that, but I was

Haunted by my dad’s warm smile and his

Occasional, “You look pale.? Are you all right??

Call me the minute you get home.? Are

You depressed about something?”

?

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a

Lifetime of worry?? Is concern for one another

Handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of

Human frailties and the fears of the

Unknown?? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue

That elevates us to the highest form of life?

?

One of my children became quite irritable

Recently, saying to me, “Where were you?? I’ve been

Calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was

worried.”

I smiled a warm smile.?

The torch has been passed.

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  1. disbelief says:

    I worry about certain bloggers. All indications are that there is no end in sight.

  2. Dana says:

    I have two daughters, a sophomore at Penn State and a sophmore in high school. Both good girls, never came home late, never not come home, never came home visibly drunk or stoned, work hard in school, one an altar girl in church, all just plain reliable.

    Of course, there have been two car wrecks, a broken leg, smashed glasses, incounted sprained ankles and the like!

    But they’re still a constant worry. Even though we live in a safe, small town, I worry if one is out, I worry if they are driving. And once they are married (assuming that they don’t enter the convent, which was my first plan), I’m sure that I’ll still worry.

  3. G Rex says:

    I think there’s a transition between worrying about your kids and worrying about your parents, and for many of the same reasons.