This is what used to pass for poltical reporting in Delaware

Every once in a while it is worth taking a close look at a Celia Cohen column to marvel at the sheer hackitude and get a measure of how far we’ve come in a few short years of widespread poltical blogging. In a way it is like taking a visit to the recreation of Ben Franklin’s print shop in Philly. When I read her droppings I find myself thinking, “Look at those leather daubers stuffed with cotton. They are used to apply the ink! Neato!”

By Celia Cohen
Grapevine Political Writer

There is more order in an Easter egg hunt for three-year-olds than in the Republican presidential contest about now, and the endorsements in Delaware are in the same dizzy condition.

Charming. First of all Grapevine “Political Writer” suggests that Grapevine has some other departments. Bussiness? Local..? Sports..? You know, like a newspaper. Of course it doesn’t so her title is just a pointless and stupid affectation. It is more of a plea that anything else. “Please take me seriously, I’m a political reporter!” Maybe I’ll give myself a title? Jason Scott Delaware Liberal Grand High Pobah.

Then she moves on to the alleged point of the column. Delaware Repuiblicans are making endorsments and it is just crazy. It’s MAYHEM!! Run for the hills!!! It crazier than a…..uhhm eater egg hunt. Good writting there Ceci. Imaginative.

They are all over the place.

The Republicans’ two statewide officeholders have peeled off in different directions and at different times. Congressman Mike Castle committed early to John McCain, but there was not a peep from Auditor Tom Wagner until he went public this week with his support for Mitt Romney.

Having established the fake point of the column she draws closer to her real objective. Wrapping her lips around Mike Castle’s shaft one time for a quickie.

Castle was attracted to McCain’s damn-the-torpedoes approach, the independent streak that matches his own. Wagner was sold on Romney’s background as an “executive-type administrator.”

Groan. “Damn-the-torpedoes” means McCain wants to stay in Iraq for 100 years. I’m sure that was what Castle was wanting to hear when he endorsed him. Anyway, that is still window dressing. The “the independent streak that matches his own” sentence is what they call the money shot in the porn business. “Oh yes..Oh yes…Oh yes! YESSSS!” you get the idea.

But wait she put the money shot first. How is she going to pad this bullshit premise out to 500 words?

There is a similar divergence between National Committeewoman Priscilla Rakestraw and National Committeeman John Matlusky. She backs Rudy Giuliani. He is a McCain man.

Among other party officials who weighed in, Vice Chair Vance Phillips signed on with Mike Huckabee, and Secretary Cathy Murray favors Giuliani.

How? Not very smoothly it seems. Cathy Murray favors Giuliani. That endosrment is good for maybe two votes.

With the nomination so wide open, the candidates need all the help they can get to sway the voters. Since Delaware is such a tiny prize on Super Duper Tuesday, when 20 or so states vote on Feb. 5, it is a cinch they will be relying on their surrogates instead of coming themselves.

“That’s not going to happen,” said Terry Strine, the Republican state chair who is neutral himself.

Gosh darn it. She had to go and give away that fact that this was pure bullshit and filler. Couldn’t she have mentioned Castle’s 70% victories or yore?

As scattered as the endorsements are now, the Republicans’ presidential affections should come into better focus Jan. 25 at a party dinner. There will be a straw poll with the voting restricted solely to Republican State Committee members, about 140 of them, drawn from the party leadership and the seven Republican regions stretching from Brandywine Hundred to Sussex County.

In other words. I’m just going to hold out the hope that maybe, I can write a little less bullshitty fluff after the 25th when all the Republicans will wise up and follow the lead of bestest political Daddy anybody every had. Mike Castle.

Now for the big finish. This is when she drags in some bit of Delaware poltical minutia in order to once again lock in her reputation as the elder stateswoman of Delaware poltical whore-dome. (BTW – Do you know anything about Eugene Bookhammer? Celia does. She knows the name of Eugene’s dog and tons of other stuff.)

The Republicans also have one un-endorsement. It comes from Everett Moore, a former state chair. He wants people to know he is not the same Everett Moore who endorsed Joe Biden in the Iowa Democratic caucuses. That Everett Moore is the ex-mayor of Walker, a tiny Iowa city of 750 people near Cedar Rapids.

“Maybe my name was the kiss of death, anyway,” quipped the Delaware Everett Moore.

Everett who?