Christiana Mall has had enough of African Americans taking over their mall. Amid complaints that their more affluent customers “don’t feel comfortable” on the weekends with all these blacks running around, sitting in the food court and congregating around urban themed stores, the mall has decided to take action. Effective next month, the mall will have security guards placed at all entrances to check the skin color of all entering customers. Anyone deemed “too dark” will be denied entrance. Also beginning at 5 o’clock on Fridays, these “shoppers” will be escorted out of the mall.
The mall is considering how they will deal with Hispanics, but the Asians are safe for now, due to their above average buying power. Also, there are very few complaints that the Asians make the older white customers feel unsafe.
Another unresolved issue is how the mall will deal with gays. There have been complaints from families that they aren’t comfortable with gay couples prowling the mall while there are white people with children walking around. “The gay question is trickier, because those people lie so easily, it won’t be as simple as asking if they are straight,” said a mall spokesperson who declined to be named.
All of this is made possible because the mall is private property, rather than a “public” place. Earlier in the week the mall made news when they banned unaccompanied teenagers on the weekend. No word on whether the minorities would be permitted if escorted by their white friends.
Note: this isn’t true.