Delaware Liberal

I don’t and never will buy bottled water

It’s a complete waste. If you stop to think about it buying a 20oz soda for a $1.45 is a rip off when you can buy a 2ltr for $1.50 at the grocery store. It is freaking beyond me how people are so freaking gullible as to buy tap water in a freeking bottle. 

Water buying moron 1 “Ohhhh but my water is distilled using special copper pots that are heated with the bones of dead goats that were blessed by a Rabbi that was a holocaust survivor and once dined with Moses.”

Water buying moron 2 “Hah!  That is nothing, I get my water from a magical land overseas that only 2 people ever visited, EVER.  They poor the water over naked nymphs that are genetically modified to filter the water with their pubic hair.  The water is then bottled in a triangular bottle that was created by an a German Engineer.  When you tip the bottle into your mouth, Hans Didlemyburger mathmatically calculated a way that allows the proper amount of O2 to penetrate your nose.  This brings out the smoothness in the water while allowing your palet to feel as though you are tasting snozberries…..”

What’s Colorless and Tasteless And Smells Like . . . Money?

But empirical tests have repeatedly shown that they are generally the same. In blind taste tests, many people who swear they can differentiate between bottled-water brands and tap water fail to spot the differences, and studies have shown that both are fine to drink, and both occasionally can have quality problems.

Desalinated seawater from Hawaii, meanwhile, is being sold as “concentrated water” — at $33.50 for a two-ounce bottle. Like any concentrated beverage, it is supposed to be diluted before drinking, except that in this case, that means adding water to . . . water.

The push to turn water into the new wine is a marketing phenomenon: The bottled-water industry is engaged in an intense effort to convince Americans that the stuff in bottles is substantially different from the stuff out of the tap.

 

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