QOD
Would you let your 18 year old son have his 16 year old girlfriend sleep over your house?
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- Outside the Perimeter: Comments out of the Gazoo « kavips | July 23, 2008
Hell no.
second that
I’m not sure what the laws are in DE regarding age of consent….. If it’s legal then maybe, if it’s not then hell no!
Just because she’s sleeping over doesn’t mean they’re having sex.
Really, it depends on the kids and the circumstances. My daughter’s boyfriend spent the night at our house when we were getting ready to go somewhere together early the next morning, on New Year’s Eve and such like. Always chaperoned, of course. Little brothers are very handy for that job!
Keep in mind, also, that if they want to have sex, they’ll have sex, and you can’t stop it.
They fall into the consent framework.
Don’t ask! 😉
But to answer the ?, if the parents know the young adult well enough and basically trust him/her, well why not?
It shows a lot to the two that you won’t let your fears control your opinions and decision-making. Subsequently, they might actually take your advice and at least use protection!
“Keep in mind, also, that if they want to have sex, they’ll have sex, and you can’t stop it.”
Agreed, however, speaking from the Fathers POV if it were illegal (which it apparently is not) I wouldn’t want it to happen in my house where it could later be said that I allowed/encouraged a situation where statutory rape occurred in my house.
I’m just thinking about it from a legal / liability POV of the father IF sex were to occur.
I agree with Andy, if they are going to be getting it on, you are not going to stop it. I always had it the other way around, I was always staying over at my older girlfriends house, but her older brothers kept me in line.
If you trust him, show it, or else he will give you a reason not to trust him…
by allowing the kid to have his gf over aren’t you sort of saying as a parent:
Go ahead, have sex, it’s ok.
Regardless if it’s legal or not (glad to see that’s the major concern of our resident 22 y/o gunfreak, aka murderboy)
I would think giving the OK is sending the wrong message. 16 y/o since April 30th
I’m with the Don on this one. Even if you suspect “they’re gonna do it anyway” you still shouldn’t approve it or facilitate it. So Andy, would you let your 16 year old daughter sleep over at her 18 year old boyfriend’s house?
I’m with Rex. And where are the 16 y/o GF’s parents? I have a 17 y/o sister and there’s no way in hell my parents would say “go ahead and sleep over your BF’s house.”
Regardless if it’s legal or not (glad to see that’s the major concern of our resident 22 y/o gunfreak, aka murderboy)
I was just looking at it from a different angle. Calm down.
Oh, and glad to see you’re continuing Jason’s childish “murderboy” idiocy. Stay classy Delaware Liberal!
Take it away, Tits Magee!
Mike, I think he was tweaking you…
Funny, I have this mental image of Don V sitting on the porch with his lupara on his lap telling them to be home by ten.
I’m with Rex. And where are the 16 y/o GF’s parents? I have a 17 y/o sister and there’s no way in hell my parents would say “go ahead and sleep over your BF’s house.”
She lied to her mother, which was where she was staying.
BUT additionally don’t you think the PARENTS of the boy should have called and asked if it was ok as well?
if she was really hot…
tweaking?
moi?
if she was really hot…
UMMMM HELLO Delaware’s ORIGINAL HOTTEST BLOGGER. Of course she is hot…so I’ve been told
I had a feeling it was something like that. One of my co-workers is pissed off at his ex for letting his son have his girlfriend over; apparently the girl is there so frequently that she’s started redecorating his room.
So Andy, would you let your 16 year old daughter sleep over at her 18 year old boyfriend’s house?
Like I said, it depends on the kids and the circumstances. My high school daughter spent the night at her boyfriend’s house (they were the same age) when logistics made sense (ie a trip the next morning), but always with his parents’ full knowledge and consent, always when the parents were home, and almost always with little brother tagging along.
Also, like I said, sleeping over does not necessarily equal having sex. Sometimes sleeping is really just sleeping.
You have to know your own kid, and his/her significant other, and you have to have built up a relationship of trust and respect.
And believe me, if you had told me 15 years ago that I would be saying this, I’d have said you were nuts!
Oh man, this one brought me out of my self-imposed exile. You bastard.
16 and 18? I got three letters for you, pal: E P T.
In a twisted sort of fate, maybe now you can force his ass into a tour in a Naval sub. He’s such a man, make him prove it. Maybe I shouldn’t have said “ass” and “Naval Sub” in the same sentence. It has a Village People-ish tone to it.
Not to make you feel any worse about this, btw.
A 16 year old girlfriend?
No.
DTB, are you still upset about the ’95 Army-Navy game? Is that why you are so anti-Army?
That last second hail mary was a doozy.
I work for a living stop bothering me
liar
You blog for a living?
NO! Unless you plan to sit out in the hallway all night. Otherwise this is consent. Maybe you are ready to be a grandfather but the girl should at least be given a chance for find out what her life might be like before she gets knocked-up.
Rebecca knocks it out of the park.
At what age do you make your kid carry around condoms? According to recorded history (Greek plays, Shakespear, modern literature), teenagers have been fucking at the drop of a hat, even when knowingly facing the death penalty. Why not focus on the sex-ed?
Give her the pill, and tell her that the guy needs to wear a jimmy…
You won’t be sorry.
Dad concepts-
Girls are ethereal creatures of light. Daughters should be taught that boys are not even worthy to be in their presence, let alone anything further.
Boys are fungus. Our sons need to be protected from themselves, our daughters from others people’s sons, with deadly force if necessary.
Anti-gun types should concede the need for shotguns when their daughters enter their teens.
Dis, I agree sex ed is absolutely necessary and I also agree with an earlier comment that young people are going to have sex whether the parents enable them or not, which is all the more reason to teach sex ed early and often. In the home if it’s not being taught in the schools.
That being said, it is still the girl who carries the burden of an unwanted pregnacy. If she chooses to terminate or put the baby up for adoption she will carry emotional baggage the rest of her life. If she chooses to marry way-too-young or become a single parent she will have a very tough time of it. It’s not fair to put that responsibility on a 16-year-old by creating opportunities. Her hormones will make sure that she will find them on her own; there is no need to aid and abet youthful horniness. A parent should take a little of the pressure off and be the adult.
No, I would not let the gal stay over. I think that is just asking for trouble and is there really any benefit in it?
I say, let her stay – but of course make them stay in separate rooms or better yet on separate floors in the house. If you’re super paranoid, set up some sort of system where it’ll deter them from trying to leave their designated sleeping area and sneak to where they other one is. You know, “accidentally” leave some broken glass on the stairs or a pile of glass Christmas ornaments in the hallway (I’m channeling Home Alone here).
In all seriousness though, I had a similar sort of situation when I was in my teens (although I was the same age as the girl, both 16 – not 16 and 18). We had met in an AOL chat room and talked for months on the phone but lived somewhat far apart. So eventually our respective parents let us spend occasional weekends at each other’s houses as a way to see each other. Now I know you’re thinking, crazy parents – but prior to either of us going to the other’s house we had all met on neutral turf (Dorney Park, specifically) ahead of time to make sure nobody was a weirdo / molester. Oh, and I went to her house before she was allowed to come to mine – call it sexist but (justifiably so, I think) there was less fear on my parents’ part sending a 16 year old son off to a strange house than there was on her dad’s part about doing so with his daughter.
Now, did we end up having sex despite being assigned to sleep in separate rooms / on separate floors at each other’s houses? You betcha! Did she get pregnant? Hell no! Why? Because my parents were smart and told me we’d prefer you not have sex until you’re married but if you’re going to, be smart and wear a condom. And remember if she gets pregnant your life is pretty much over cause you won’t be going to college, you’ll be getting a job to pay for it. I’m guessing her dad had a similar conversation with her – I do know that her older brother gave her condoms in case she ever needed them.
I worry when I agree with Donviti, but I do when he wrote:
Age them four years, to 22 and 20, and if they aren’t married, the answer is still no.
Rebecca got it backwards:
No, it is the responsibility of the parents, not the schools, to rear their children. What can the public schools do other than basic plumbing lessons and the NTTAWWT morality?
We have sex ed in schools because too many parents did not live up to their responsibilities; that doesn’t mean parents ought to be relieved of their responsibilities.
Dana, do you at least agree that public schools ought to be teaching the facts of human reproduction as part of biology / life science courses? Or is teaching about how it works going to be perceived as an encouragement to use it?
What about health class instruction about HIV and other STD’s? Certainly I would agree this is something parents ought to be talking about – BUT that being said, at least if (admittedly a big if) the students hear it from an appropriately qualified teacher they will be getting complete and correct information. How many parents might there be out there who still think HIV is only a “gay disease?” Just sayin’…
thanks guys, just making sure I’m not off base.
See progs and 2a’ers can get along and find common ground
Simply put, hell no.
I should have put a disclaimer on my response: being that I’m 27 and have no kids, my saying “sure, let her stay over” was mostly reminiscing over my own teen experiences about a decade ago.
If you ask me again in about 20 years when I may very well have a teenage daughter of my own, I can imagine thinking a bit differently.
Late, but: no fucking way (pun intended)
NO !!!. I will not enable that type of behavior in my house.
Too bad it has to be a question. No.