First this…
Confronting questions about whether John McCain stole an inspiring POW story from the autobiography of a former Soviet prisoner, a campaign spokesman threw out this melee attack against a much-maligned geek pastime:
“It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement,” said McCain aide Michael Goldfarb, in a posting to the campaign website.
Then…Wired’s Threat Level blog is asked its readers to come up with character descriptions or Monster Manual blurbs for McCain:
1st Level Fighter / 14th Level Aristocrat by (+5, Troll)
His stat block is STR 12, INT 9, WIS 9, DEX 9, CON 10, CHR 14, adjusting for age. His Bluff skill is maxed, but he has just one rank in Knowledge (Religion) and no ranks in Knowledge (Economics). He was only a fighter for a short time, but he brags about those days to anyone who doesn’t intentionally fail their Listen check. He managed to charm an aristocratic lass into marriage to make his fortune, though he had to leave his first wife to do so.
and…
Overlord McCainnister the Brute by Sam
This perennially battle-weary creature thrives on animosity and fear; it wields a Fox Cloak of Deception with a +10 stun against nearby intelligent creatures. Sporting long, tentacled arms, its impressive reach gives it a +5 luck in debates. Sadly, this creature is rarely found in the wild; it is usually paired as a familiar to the Horn-toothed Lobbyist.