Casting the Joe Biden Movie
Let’s jump to conclusions and assume that not only is Biden going to be VP, but he is going to be such a kick-ass VP that he will have a Bio-pic directed by Martin Scorsese. I’ll start…
Joe Bidenthe hero, played by Tommy Lee Jones.
Tom Carper, the doofy sidekick, played by Steve Buscemi.
Celia Cohen, the groupie, played by Victoria Beckham.
Allan Loudell, the journalist, played by William Hurt.
Mike Mathews, the wisecracking blogger, played by Vince Vaughn.
HAHAHAHAHAHA…VINCE VAUGHN. I picture Matthews being played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Or Hoffman could play Loudell.
I think Biden should be played by Jeff Bridges with gray hair.
I will be played by Jason Alexander (George Kostanza).
Joe Biden the hero = richard gere
Tom Carper, = gary busey
Celia Cohen, = joe pesci
Allan Loudell, = kevin spacey
Mike Mathews, = tom arnold
I think Biden should be Alec Badwin. He could do the an angry Biden like no one’s business. I heard how he yells at his daughter (Baldwin, that is).
Beau could be another of the Baldwin brothers.
I want Dennis Franz to play Jason. He can do angry indignation.
Jim Carey to play me.
Jason Alexander would play a great DD.
Not bad arthur. Wh would play you?
I’d be played by Charlie Sheen.
How would play DV? DV, naturally.
I think Biden should be played by William Hurt and Allan Loudell played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
Jason330 played by Kevin Spacey
Donviti played by Denis Leary
DV could be played by Antonio Banderas.
Mike Protack = Ted McGinley
Christine O’Donnell played by Traci Lords
Mike Protack = Ted McGinley
holy crap that is funny. protractor is the mcginley of politics. once mcginley is on a show the show is doomed. once protractor enters a race he has lost.
Hillary played by Shirley Jones, seeking to break her typecasting as a “nice” character.
Mike Protack = Ron Jeremy
It’s the mustache, stupid.
Hillary played by Glenn Close, in a reprise of her role in “Fatal Attraction.”
Mitt Romney played by any local TV weatherman.
Joe Biden = Katt Williams
Tom Carper = Dave Chappelle
Celia Cohen = (Insert Random R&B Singer With Serious Acting Aspirations)
Allan Loudell = Jamie Foxx
Mike Mathews = Tracy Morgan
Cameos by Flavor Flav as Mike Protack, Dave Chappelle doubling in whiteface as Bill Lee, and special appearance by Ice T as Frank Infante.
Cindy McCain played by Courtney Love.
Buck Henry would make the PERFECT Mike Castle.
EDIT: No wait, William H. Macy would be even better!
John McCain’s wives played by the Dixie Chicks.
Bill Roth = Philip Baker Hall
All local DE politicians played by actual midgets.
In midget tones:
We represent the banking industry, the banking industry, the banking industry. And in the name of the banking industry…. we’d like to welcome you to DuPont land!
“Celia Cohen, the groupie, …”
You do yourself no favors by sliming Cohen this way. You don’t have to agree with every nuance in her writing, but she has a body of work of which everyone on this board would be proud.
20 years ago this week, she alone had the story of Dan Quayle at the Paula Parkinson party, when he was announced as GOP VP nominee.
Thanks for visiting, Celia.
OK, fine Belinsky.
Celia Cohen = Edna E Mode (from the Incredibles).
I’m sitting here laughing hysterically. Thanks, everyone.
is a belinsky the polish version of a blumpkin?
love the comment by the way….
it’s like telling your grandkid you made it to the major leagues and even got to bat once.
Ahhh, that celia cohen, I remember when she was a journalist that one time 20 years ago…those were the days
Joe Biden = Craig T. Nelson
DV/DHB/DBB/DTB/DMUW = Stanley Tucci.
If you’ve seen either of them, you will know why.
Nwemski,
What does DPN stand for?
His initials.
They’d be my initials.
Okay. Okay.
Whew, LG, glad I got that right. 🙂
The eagle from the muppets
(and FYI I am a huge Joe Fan)
and his wife would be played by Jan from Dr. Teeth’s band.
Carper will be played by Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Haven’t you ever noticed how much they resemble each other?
Mike Castle is Smithers.
Shirley–Stevie Nix
Chainsaw–Jesus
Hef- Arthur Fonzirelli
Matthews-Tracy Turnblatt?’s mom from Hairspray
Tommywonk- Rick Moreno? (the dad in Honey I Shrunk the Kids)
Jason–one of the Menendez brothers
Bill Clinton is on the phone right now lobbying the heads of the major studios to have the role of Biden played by Hillary.
And a few more:
DelDem–Jackie Coogan
Geek–A young Ed McMahon
Pandora–Paula Abdul w/ tresses short