From the tipline we read…
Dear Dr. Liberal,
My college junior son is bringing home his Dutch exchange student girlfriend for Thanksgiving. That is fine with me since Holland is far away and Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday in the land that the pilgrims left.
My problem is that he seems to be under the impression that they will be sleeping together in his room.
I raised him to have a healthy, safe attitude toward sex so I’m fairly confident that they are having sex at school. This, again, is fine with me. I just don’t want them doing it around here. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite, but I just don’t.
My inner liberal says to chill out, but my inner fogey says to rebuild the Berlin wall. What should I do?
Muddling in Middletown
First of all…Dutch exchange student girlfriend…SWEET!
Now then, where was I?
Oh yeah. All your years of safe, healthy attitude building has been theory when the kid was 12, but now you are face to face with the results of your liberal parenting and you are all “Ew.” Right?
Don’t worry. Parents are entitled to play the old fogey card at random. It is one of the perks of parenthood. Since you raised your boy to have a reasonable attitude toward sex you probably alos raised him to be considerate and have some sense of decorum.
Simply tell your son that he will be sleeping on the sofa and his girlfriend will be upstairs in the bed. And let that be that. Also, If you go shopping and say you are going to be back at 3:00, don’t come back at noon.
He’ll probably get it, but if he makes an issue of it, you will have a teachable moment in which you can explain that you are happy for him with his healthy sexuality and his ability to (so far) not bring grandchildren into your home, but that you would be uncomfortable with the idea of him getting it on beneath his Padmé Amidala poster with his Allen Iverson bobble-head doll nodding his lecherous approval.
I hereby absolve you of feeling that there is some conflict between your liberalism and your parentalism.
Go in Peace,
Dr. Liberal
PS. Ask Dr. Liberal Questions by using the tipline or by emailing me at jason330(at)delawareliberal.com