Wingnut bloggers are getting the cold shoulder from RNC chair wannabees who refuse to respond to their whacked standardized (litmus) test. That makes me laugh.
Here are the question and the correct responses* – so if anyone happens to know Michael Steele, please feel free to pass these along.
1. Please state your qualifications for the job and why those qualifications make you the best choice.
I believe Jesus rode dinosaurs and Ann Coulter is hot.
2. Please explain how you see the role of RNC Chairman.
Somewhere between Drive-thru manager at Burger King and coach of the Washington Generals.
3 Please outline how you see the role of RNC Chairman in terms of structuring the Republican message and platform.
Do whatever Jerry Falwell tells me to do. Oh wait, he’s dead. I mean’t Elisabeth Hasselback.
4. Please outline your goals for internal reform and/or restructuring of the RNC.
A. Piss off everyone not 55 years or older and white.
B. Make fun of teh gays.
C. Resign and get a job with Haliburton
Please explain your vision for expanding the GOP’s use of technology in the future and, in light of that, explain your preferred structure for the online apparatus of the RNC.
All technology will be powered by oil, oil products, or semi-automatic weapons. On-line I prefer a top down authortairan approach with no apparatus provided for input from the apostates.
5. Please explain what steps and resources you would use to rebuild, reform, or otherwise repair state Republican parties that need restoration and/or strengthening.
Huge parties at night in fields with sheets, burning crosses, and bible quoting.
6.Please explain what criteria you would use to vet and recruit winnable candidates.
Did you masturbate to pictures of Sarah Palin today? How about yesterday? Are you planning to do it tomorrow?
Please explain how you would recruit effective candidates for the 2010 United States Senate races and how you would help those candidates.
See above
Please explain why the Republican Party should remain a pro-life party.
Because anyone who isn’t pro-life should be killed.
Please explain what benchmarks you think would be fair to measure an RNC Chairman to determine if that Chairman has succeeded or failed in his task.
A. Ted Haggard likes me.
B. 15 or more appearances on Fox News Sunday
C. Gays are rounded up and confined to the West Village
(*Correct responses provided by Dave Burris posing as TBogg commenter Hatmandu.)