Subject: Bush Library – updated information!
From one of those joke emails that get sent around.
Dear Fellow Constituent:
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations.
The Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
The Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
The Men’s Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Re publican Senators.
The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.
The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President’s accomplishments.
The library will also include many famous quotes by George W. Bush:
‘The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.’
‘If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.’
‘Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.’
‘No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.’
‘I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.’
‘One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.’
‘Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.’
‘I have mad e good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.’
‘The future will be better tomorrow.’
‘We’re have the best educated American people in the world.’
‘One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.’ (during an education photo-op)
‘Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.’
‘We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.’
‘It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.’
‘I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.’
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!
Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair
G.W Bush Library Board of Directors
Reading those quotes I giggle and think, “We could not have elected that moronic douche bag twice. Maybe it was all a bad dream.”
All rooms feature unlawful electronic surveillance of the visitors, sponsored by Verizon.
The Cafeteria only serves stale pretzels and beer.
Where is the water boarding room?
No pretzels, nemski – those are dangerous!
I especially like the part about an electron microscope to view his accomplishments.
Some of my favorites not listed here:
“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
“Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
That was hilarious.
No shit, it really was.
Some of those classic Bush moments set to music if you haven’t seen it already:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqLvBUSJucg
Where is the water boarding room?
Where the swimming pool is suppose to be.
The media and press center, located in the right wing.
The Florida Room-to sample ballots
The Sun Room–housing “Big Blacky”, the oil heater from bygone days
Oh somebody please stop me…..!!!
A little redo of the school he visited the morning of 9/11…while the buildings fell him reading from the “goat book”…thats a classic. or,
a shot of Bush at his fake ranch with the Taliban….”these are people we can work with”. writing a $28m check for public relations to fix their tarnished image.
Knowing Bush is leaving I laugh out loud.
Knowing he`s supporters are staying I cry like a baby.
I only watch business channels so can anybody tell me if they are reporting the Madoff hedge fund rip off of billions?
Ray K – from the Tom Tomorrow blog this morning:
Speaking of Madoff, here’s a repetition of my rule of thumb for US politics, since it clearly also applies to US society generally:
There’s a rule of thumb for American politics that will never steer you wrong: if the Washington press corps worships a political figure and squeaks for decades on end about how he’s a Brave Man of Honor and Wisdom, that political figure is one of the most dangerous lying scumbags on earth.