A Nation of Morons

Filed in National by on March 5, 2009

Rhode Island’s Kmareka.com reports that one man is tired of kosher salt.

Retired barber Joe Godlewski says he was inspired by television chefs who repeatedly recommended kosher salt in recipes.

“I said, ‘What the heck’s the matter with Christian salt?’ “

:  nemski slams head onto desk repeatedly :

Rabbi Sholem Fishbane, kosher administrator for the Chicago Rabbinical Council, said marketing Christian salt as an alternative to kosher salt reflects, at best, ignorance about Jewish dietary laws. He said all salt is inherently kosher because it occurs naturally and requires little or no processing.

Certified kosher foods are not blessed by rabbis but examined by them to ensure that the food and its processing conform with Biblical passages regarding food preparation and consumption, Fishbane said.

Oh, okay, maybe there is some sanity in the world.

: nemski stops slamming head on to his desk. co-workers around him are relieved. for some reason,  nemski continues on reading :

If the salt takes off, Godlewski plans an entire line of Christian-branded foods, including rye bread, bagels and pickles.

: nemski begins again to slam head onto his desk. his boss is very concerned :

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Comments (21)

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  1. xstryker says:

    Sign Liz up.

  2. xstryker says:

    “I said, ‘What the heck’s the matter with Christian salt?’ “

    Low quality control, that’s what.

  3. nemski says:

    It’s funny because when shopping, if there are two products: one kosher and one “Christian”, I choose the kosher every time.

    Now, if they could just make kosher Oreos.

  4. Unstable Isotope says:

    Was Lot’s wife turned into kosher salt?

  5. h. says:

    Where can I get me some Christ Crackers?

  6. pandora says:

    This is what we’ve become. A nation of stupid eureka moments.

  7. Suzanne says:

    What will be the secret ingredient in Christian Rye Bread? Blood from those slaughtered in the name of God?

    Yes, I know – the earth will open up any moment and swallow me up whole, right after I have been hit by a lightning strike from heaven

  8. xstryker says:

    No bread/blood libel jokes, please. The less said of it the better.

  9. anon says:

    Where can I get me some Christ Crackers?

    Start just south of the Deer Park and keep going, you’ll find plenty.

  10. Mrs XStryker says:

    Oreos have been kosher for YEARS.

    http://www.ou.org/oupr/1997/nabisco97.htm

  11. Just be careful if you have the christian-brand lamb. You don’t want that stuff coming back from the dead on you….

  12. Von Cracker says:

    I see someone did give the scissors to the retarded kid.

    At least he made a career out of it.

  13. nemski says:

    Thanks Mrs. XStryker.

    The reason why I mentioned Oreos was that I was a counselor on a bike trip and we had one kid that ate only kosher. It was a bit difficult at first, but we got through it easy enough. Thank goodness we had a lot of Jewish kids to help the two Gentile counselors through the whole kosher thing.

    Anywho, at one point, our kosher kid was caught by the other campers eating Oreos, which weren’t kosher at the time. Needless to say, at the behest of our campers, we were no longer kosher for the rest of the trip.

  14. Mrs XStryker says:

    Are you sure they weren’t Hydrox? Hydrox used to be the oreos for Kosher people.

  15. liberalgeek says:

    I think the Christian salt is just kosher salt that has been mixed with holy water and then dried out.

    I keep looking for a good Hindu cheeseburger.

  16. Von Cracker says:

    We secretly replaced the Pope’s usual salt with Morie’s Kosher Salt….Shhhh…Let’s see if he notices…

  17. nemski says:

    Are you sure they weren’t Hydrox?

    Trust me, there was lard.

  18. anon says:

    ROTFLMAO. This just made my day.

  19. jen says:

    Mine, too.

    Thank heavens for people like Joe Godlewski–God-lewski. What a name! No wonder he wants Christian salt. Oy vey!

  20. jen says:

    BTW: Kosher salt is not actually KOSHER. And it has no iodine in it, so you would need another cource of iodine. Check it out–google kocher salt:

    Kosher salt usually has no additives, and it has big crystals with large surface areas. This size and shape allows it to absorb more moisture than other forms of salt, and this makes kosher salt excellent for curing meats. That is essentially where the name comes from. The salt itself is not kosher, meaning it doesn’t conform to Jewish food laws, but this salt is used to make meat kosher. The Jewish holy book, the Torah, prohibits consumption of any blood, which is why kosher meat must be slaughtered and prepared in a specific manner. A common way of removing the final traces of blood from meat is to soak and salt it.