QOD
Would you let your 16 year old daughter get a tattoo? Would you turn it into a nice father/daughter or mother/daughter experience? If you were divorced would you tell or ask for the father/mother’s opinion?
(Purely hypothetical, never in a million years could this happen to me)
No, no, and yes.
Never
Maybe (after a lot of discussion)
I’d try to
Yes
But my daughter (niece) is 5. Ask me when she turns 16 and I’ll probably give you David’s answer. (And that goes for dating too 🙂 )
Yes, yes & yes… but I have three tats and no children so take it with a grain of salt… At least if you’re involved you can offer advice. Otherwise she’ll get something either inane or tasteless… or worse…
If this is inevitable… and it seems like it is… I’d say the only option is to invite her to get a second tattoo… something like “I Love Daddy” or something else that the first spouse would hate.
Maybe just the threat would work. Drive a wedge, man.
Anon – I assumed DV’s advice would AVOID the inane…
I like anon’s repsonse the best so far. Hell, she can put it on the bottom of her foot for all I care
She can be a walking billboard for this dysfunctional relationship.
How about right down her arm:
http://www.delawareliberal.net
Now that’s funny!
Okay, let’s dig into this issue. I have two children – a 14 (15 in April) year old son and an 11 year old daughter – and have been quite clear on my views concerning tattoos.
They are a big commitment, and you had better be damn sure of what you want before permanently marking your body. So, imo, 16 is too young. The way I explain this to my kids is that if they had gotten a tattoo a couple of years ago they would now be walking around sporting a Pokemon character. The looks of horror on their faces is priceless. For fun I also ask my daughter how she’d feel if I made her wear that Hannah Montana tee shirt she had to have which is now buried in her dresser in shame.
And that’s how I approach this issue; not by laying down the law, but by pointing out the obvious.
That said, when they are 18 it is their choice.
BTW, DV, are you going to pull the trigger on some ink or what. I wish you’d quit giving it lip service and posting the odd QOD topic on tattoo… What’s the hold up?
Pandora… I hate to think how you would illustrate the perils of marrying too young…
Kinda the same thing, anon. 😉
Would you let your 16 year old daughter get a tattoo?
No.
Would you turn it into a nice father/daughter or mother/daughter experience?
No.
If you were divorced would you tell or ask for the father/mother’s opinion?
No.
Well, I thought that the older Miss Pico would never be willing to put up with the pain involved in getting a tattoo — and then she joined the Army! I guess that she could put up with the pain if she chose, but, so far, hasn’t taken such a choice. And the military has new regulations which disallow any tattoos which would be visible when in uniform.
Our younger daughter turns 18 in July, so she won’t need our consent after that. Thus far, she hasn’t expressed any serious desire for a
tramp stamptattoo — other than to pull our chains.I have pointed out to the girls that, if it’s a choice between a tattoo and a piercing, when you get tired of the piercing, you can take out the appliance.
Strangely, I’m with jason right down the line.
Our answer: “You can get a tatoo when you move out.”
No, no, yes.
I like Pandora’s approach.
I don’t have a TAT and that’s after spending 5 years in the navy. However I always thought it might be fun to have a W put on each cheek of my ass. Then if I bent over it would say “WOW “and if i stood on my head it would say “MOM”
Pandora– Right on! I’m referring the kids to you when I’m tired of going over this, meanwhile my dinnertime commentary has degenerated to “Sure go ahead, makes the police’s job easier when listing “identifying marks” on the wanted poster–or the morgues job less complicated when searching for forensic identification. Older teens and sarcasm, it gives ’em something to think about.
Not opposed to tats–opposed to permanent decisions at 16–hence would steer towards the henna, temporary, washable, bubble-gum variety at this point in life. And before anyone starts with “they can be removed”…yes, expensively, and again more procedures.
Both of my daughters got small, tasteful (IMO) tattoos after they turned 18. Curiously, both regret getting them now.
No, no, and yes, much like the others.
Tats are not my style, although I am definitely impressed by some of the artwork I’ve seen on others.
Dorian,
I don’t really think it would be the best decision financially for me to get one when I’m pulling down $300 a week 🙂
but yes, I will be getting one some day. I just haven’t settled on one yet.
Joanne, next time you take them shopping tell them you’re going to buy them 4 of the exact same fashion trend and that they can wear these same styles for the next 4 (or more!) years.
OK, fair enough, but there’s always an excuse isn’t there?
And for the record, this the most conservative grouip of liberals and libertarians I’ve ever stumbled across. 🙂
DG, it’s sucks being a parent sometimes. We go from “don’t hurt the baby” to “don’t let the teenager hurt themselves.” Besides, we all know who’ll they’ll blame if we let them get the tattoo at 16 and they aren’t happy with it at 25. 🙂
As long as the tattoo isn’t “Berserker” on the forehead, I’m down with it all!
I would say yes, yes, and yes.
One reason is that the daughter might just rebel and do it anyway, and being close to her through the process will minimize risks and dangers of getting a fake ID and doing it on her own.
You can sit down and research images online, talk of placement, size, color, etc.
That, and my wife is currently healing from her third tattoo, so I really can’t preach about saying no completely. She would most likely be the one to go with her and get it done, I get squeamish with other people’s blood.
Not only will it be a bonding experience, you have to remember that it is a way to become closer to a teenager that may become distant in her final high school years.
Before 16? No. After… yes, but with guidance, control, and being at her side the whole way.
In my house, there is no tattoo allowed until my son is 18 – at which time I will go with him if he wants me too, but he will hvae to pay for it (and it’s removal if he hates it).
and yes, if you do decide to do it anyway, I think both parents should agree – in case there are complications/infections, at least the other parent can’t point at you and say it’s all your fault. I am all for covering my own a**.
NO! to ‘underage’ Tats. NO!!! to parents paying.
My daughter periodically threathened to get one as a teen. Thank goodness, even while in the Peace Corp, she didn’t.
She did, however, get a belly button ring which, thankfully, had to be removed once she got pregnant.
Presently, one of her Peace Corp sisters is in the process of getting one of those monsterous
‘butterflys’ removed from her lower back. The cost is nothing compared with the pain of the surgery.
On another note: I saw a young woman at the Polish Festival one year with a very, very small (white ink) star tatooed on the side of her neck. It’s the only tat I have ever seen that I found at all attractive.
Her beau had a zipper inked from behind his ear to the base of his neck: I figured that’s how they disguised the scar after they shoveled his brain back in once he decided on that design.
To make a long diatribe less boresom: I support Pandora’s approach.
Brian Shields – interesting idea re: “well they’re going to do it anyway”. I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective, although that’s the standpoint my parents took with me about drinking and it worked like a charm. I barely drank at all until college, and even then I never overindulged. Other things, though, they did *not* take the same approach, and I went about them in ways that weren’t the most prudent. I still don’t think that a tattoo at 16 is a good idea (and indeed, I like Pandora’s approach best), but it’s something to think about.
Then again, Mrs. X, ask me again in 16+ or so years when it’s less hypothetical. Actually having the child makes a difference on your perspective.
I do know that it would be hard to say no when my wife has a few, and I’m not against the idea, I would just be concerned about the safety aspect, and placement, etc. Even if she was over 18, I would want to be able to have some input, and saying NO outright denies me that ability.
There’s nothing that makes you eat your words faster than raising a child. I’ve lost count on how many pre-child statements I’ve chowed down.
Sure, let her get on with one condition, if you are paying you get to choose what she gets.
I have a 17-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. I’ve told her that when she’s 18, her body is her own and if she wants to do something stupid like get a tattoo, then she has the right to do it. I also make sure I occasionally reference people I know who now regret various tats they’ve gotten over the year. The “your body is your own at 18” is a bit of a joke, but telling her about the various people who regret theirs always shuts her up. That and pointing out the 40-year-olds with stupid tattoos they got at 18.
As for telling the ex, my conscience tells me that you should always consult the other parent when it comes to parenting decisions. Experience, OTOH, makes me just want a hidden camera to record his expression when she comes home with it. 🙂