The World According To Americans

Filed in National by on March 23, 2009

worldaccoringtoamericans

h/t YesButNoButYes

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A Dad, a husband and a data guru

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  1. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    where is africa….oh wait i get it.

  2. Dorian Gray says:
    March 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    I get it too, but if they had the balls they would have labeled it they way most of “real” redneck rube America thinks of it.

    It is quite funny though.

  3. jason330 says:
    March 23, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    WE R #1 !!!!!!

  4. pandora says:
    March 23, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Whoa… that’s a little too close to the truth, don’t-cha think? 🙂

  5. anonone says:
    March 23, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Too funny!

  6. Tom S. says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    This is the first time you’re seeing this? I’m pretty sure this map out dates the Bush administration.

    Its all good anyway, the liberal version of this would just mark every other nation “Places I retardedly think are better than my own country but am to much of a pussy to own up and move to”

  7. Von Cracker says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    America! Fuck Yeah!

    Here to save the muthufuckin’ day-yey!

  8. Geezer says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    “Places I retardedly think are better than my own country but am to much of a pussy to own up and move to”

    You’d be surprised how hard it is to move to most of those countries, especially the ones that are, indeed, better than this one.

  9. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    Alright Geezer, i’ll bite, which countries are better than this one?

    I suppose the fact that Bush spent more money on AIDS in Africa than all of his predecessors combined has already been dropped into the trash bin of liberal history. And I don’t believe Obama has mentioned Africa since he gave a shout-out to his shack-dwelling half-brother during the campaign.

  10. Brian Shields says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Thar be dragons.

  11. nemski says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Jason Z, a lot of people think there country is better than everyone else’s. Just look at Texans. 😉

  12. anonone says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    Damn, Jason Z. You’re one serious dude!

  13. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Z, iran is a much better country than this one

  14. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    Well, Iran does have more resolute leadership than we do, and no gays! Thanks Akmakramijab!

  15. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    see? its the perfect place for rednecks

  16. Geezer says:
    March 23, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Jason Z: How many have you been to? I’d move to France in a heartbeat. Italy, too, now that you don’t have to wait a year for a landline phone. Canada, though I’m at the age where the winters are too long. And several Caribbean nations look pretty nice.

    Approximately 1 million US citizens think Mexico is better — or at least, that’s where they make their permanent home.

  17. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    … yeah mexico is GREAT! i like my drug violence with an ineffective government.
    the sad truth is, America really IS the best. i wouldn’t want to live in France, they still have riots after every election. and europe in general is smug. now, of course i can go to any posh bar and wear my Obama election day volunteer pin and use it to pick up girls… and THAT my friends is real american capitalism

  18. anonone says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    You might like Iran, too, a. price. They are much harder on criminals than we are. Even stoning!

  19. nemski says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    Wow, they can get stoned in Iran! That only happens here in California.

  20. Susan Regis Collins says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    JZ (you wish)……..HIV/AIDS money w/o contraception education/products is nothing to be proud about. It’s an effin’ very cruel joke.

    FYI: it’s been stated (Time) that young people who were taught abstinence only, wore a ring and all that other palava has sex as early & as often as those taught the value of ‘safe sex’. The only difference? The A-only group used less birth control….increasing the pregnancy rate. To that end I give you The Palin Babymomma.

    I’ve not been ‘everywhere’ but I was born out of the US and, by now, have bought into the whole ‘American’ bit. It’s like living in Wilmington you can run but you can not hide….so best to stand and work for change. Keep hope alive.

  21. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    oh don’t take my bluster from another thread over here. much of that was me trying to bait Weer’d and you got caught up in it.
    the iran thing was sarcasm because Jason Z seems like an unhinged Palinite. try and keep up bud, we’re on the same side

  22. Geezer says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    “i wouldn’t want to live in France, they still have riots after every election”

    I was there for a Paris riot a couple of years ago, when the young people were protesting a government policy making it easier to fire anyone with less than 2 years’ experience. It was not, in truth, what anyone in this country would consider a riot. More like a street party.

    “europe in general is smug.”

    Oh really? What would that make the U.S.? We’re in a galaxy beyond smug, IMHO.

    A. Price, I ask you the same question: How many other countries have you actually been to? On what basis, other than your own passport registration, are you judging them?

  23. anonone says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    don’t take my bluster from another thread over here

    But that is what I do best. 🙂

  24. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    israel, france, italy, portugal, china (mainland AND hong kong) canada (twice) and UK all in the last 8 years. i get around and i love to travel. there were riots in france last week over their response to their own financial crisis, (it wassnt as bad as tanks on the streets of wilmington on the 60s, but worse than the phillies victory “celebration”)
    You have this grass is always greener mentality. watch CspanBBC some time. the House Of Commons acts like a bunch of children. some nations have one ups on us. Health care, Education, etc… but in no other country are you going to find the kinds of strides we make.
    Think about this,, look who we just elected. Yes we would have enslaved our current president about 150 years ago, but do you think you will EVER see a Jewish head of state in Germany? or anywhere in Europe? where was THEIR last black president?
    I like this country for it’s diversity, and for all of our problems, at least we can openly talk about them, and have some hope of solving them.

  25. liberalgeek says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    I might consider living in Germany. Sure there are places in Germany that aren’t ready for a Jewish PM, but they do have a woman as PM now. And using your own standards, they have another 100 years to get there. Hell, what person on Earth could imagine a black President of the US in the following 50 years in 1960?

  26. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    well, go live there. i probably dont agree with Z on much. i think this country is very imperfect, but i’d like to improve it rather than sit around and bitch about how much better it is in France. I’m chubby and don’t smoke. i wouldn’t fit in over in france 🙂

  27. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    If you work for a living and you’re not already loaded, you’ll go broke in France(maybe even before the Muslims take over-aka-“young people protesting”).
    You won’t have a job and you will have a much greater chance of being murdered in Mexico or the Caribbean, especially if you’re white.
    I’m not sure if they’re picking up the trash in Italy yet, but that could be a good option.
    Canada would be nice, because you could come home for superior healthcare and still pretend America sucks.

  28. liberalgeek says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Didn’t say I was making plans, but there are certainly other countries that are livable. The US is a place with a number of issues. Theoretically, we have processes and procedures that give us the flexibility to fix those issues.

    For now, that system is not irreparably broken, but it could get there (or prove to me that it is). I doubt that it will break in my lifetime, but you never know.

  29. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    LG,
    MLK Jr. did, explicitly. Although it wasn’t ’60:
    “BBC World News America has unearthed a fascinating clip of Dr Martin Luther King speaking to the BBC’s Bob McKenzie in 1964 in which Dr King predicts an African-American president in less than 25 years. ”
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/world_news_america/7838851.stm

  30. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    damn dude, wow. good find

  31. jason330 says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    If you work for a living and you’re not already loaded, you’ll go broke in France(maybe even before the Muslims take over-aka-”young people protesting”).

    What a joke. What you know about France could fit in a tea cup.

  32. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    tea is england silly. you’re thinking wine glass

  33. liberalgeek says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Pretty cool. I’ll wiggle out thusly:

    Dr. King made a point that he had been heartened by things he had seen in the previous 2 years. So, in 1960, it is conceivable that had you asked Dr. King, he would have been less hopeful.

    It is, in fact, the ability to rapidly change direction that makes the US so interesting and strong. I wonder if we will have a gay President in the next 50 years?

  34. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    I’m an American, I drink coffee from somewhere near the bottom of the map. I think they call it BJ’s.

  35. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Well wiggled.

  36. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    See, i’m an american too. when i say god bless america (i dont actually) i dont mean “god damn everyone else”
    MY coffee, like my president is from Kenya… it is quite good… full bodied and smooth with overtones of citrus…the coffee i mean.
    I think in general we have a very dickish view of the rest of the world, but to be sure a lot of other countries that my left wing brethren tout have their own issues and also claim to be better than everyone else. The difference is, THIS country ..long as it may take always, and often suddenly, and sometimes with resistance from “patriots”, lives up to its promise.

  37. liberalgeek says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    True enough A.Price.

  38. anonone says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    LG,

    Chances are that we have probably already had a gay president. Openly gay? Not yet.

    The big challenge is an openly atheistic president, IMHO.

  39. anonone says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    MY coffee, like my president is from Kenya


    AH HA! So you ADMIT Obama isn’t from America!

  40. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    admit? i was part of the conspiracy.. i get free Kenya AA light roast now

  41. Von Cracker says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    Holland. If I had to, I’d move to Holland in a heartbeat. Though in 30 years, it may be under 10 meters of water…ugh.

    But as someone who’s traveled outside the country numerous times, I will say, even with the fucktard mythology freaks, capitalistic pigs, and the sweatpants-wearing dough-people with the culture of a day-old cheese, The States (well, along the coasts [only down to NC on the East though!]), is the place to be.

  42. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    2005: “As America prepares for Halloween, France is girding for a wave of attacks from Muslim youths—a reprise of the deadly French riots of last year.”
    February 2006: Muslims riot over cartoons
    23 October 2006 France: Police Preparing For Replay Of Paris Muslim Riots
    2009: “PARIS – French officials condemned a petrol bomb attack on a synagogue in the southern city of Toulouse on Monday night which triggered fears that anger over Israel’s offensive in Gaza could spill over into violence in France…Clashes between police and pro-Palestinian demonstrators at a rally in Paris on Saturday had already raised the spectre of the riots in the run-down “banlieues” that shook France in 2005.
    19 March 2009: “Tens of thousands of cars are torched in France every year. At least 1147 were destroyed on New Year’s Eve 2008-‘9. The enraged pro-Hamas mobs that stormed through the city once a week in January, promising death to Israel and the Jews, smashed storefronts and burned cars. Infuriated islanders in the French overseas dĂ©partements of Guadeloupe and Martinique burned cars in the course of their month-long revolt against the white folks, high prices, and the state.” Continue here: http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2009/03/french-toast-nidra-poller-on-cars-burning-in-the-marais-saturday-night.html
    January 2009: Anti-Semitic attack on teenage girl in Paris…The National Bureau of Vigilance against Anti-Semitism, said it had received about 100 reports of anti-Semitic insults and threats since the start of the conflict in Gaza. On Monday a stolen car was driven at high speed into the front gate of a synagogue in Toulouse, south west France, and set on fire.

    I hope you like your brie toasted.

    Oh wait…I meant to say, “Steep that in your tea cup and sip it.”

  43. Von Cracker says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    The toasted brie and arugula salad at Domaine Hudson is fantastic! Highly recommended.

    😉

  44. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    remember Z, America has W.A.R and KKK and GOP and Mike Protack. i’m sayin stop throwin stones, at ourselves and others

  45. Donhusseinsquishviti says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    I’m pretty sure I’d move to Italy in a heartbeat if I could too

  46. pandora says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Now see, VC, I could live on that salad at Domaine Hudson!

    Here’s the deal: All the countries named have good and bad points – including the US. My brother has lived in Italy (5 years) and I have family living in England, Chili, Canada, Germany, and Australia. They have things they miss about the US and things the don’t.

    The problem the “We’re #1 crowd” has is that they refuse to give any other country credit.

  47. Miscreant says:
    March 23, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    “Tens of thousands of cars are torched in France every year. At least 1147 were destroyed on New Year’s Eve 2008-‘9. The enraged pro-Hamas mobs that stormed through the city once a week in January, promising death to Israel and the Jews, smashed storefronts and burned cars.

    A mere street party.

  48. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    I’m feeling a bit amnesic…when was the last KKK riot again? Seriously, the White Aryan Resistance? Who has heard of them? When was anything done in their name? Beyond a website that probably gets 7 hits a day?
    America has all kinds of bad people; there, are you happy? America also has per capita the best and most hard working people on the planet. One of our biggest problems is not arrogance, but this constant whining self-effacement (pronounce that word with a French accent, really, its funny, try it). Liberals, the media, and our new President do enough of that for my liking, I’d rather be proud of my country.
    The number of good things in America out number and outweigh the bad things by unquantifiable bounds. To deny that is to be ignorant of the truth of the last 230 years(approx).
    Now, it could be argued that arrogance is a problem for me, sorry again, moi.

  49. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Seriously, the White Aryan Resistance? Oklahoma City. maybe not WAR exactly, but it was the same deal.

  50. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Z, slavery is our nations original sin, and we can’t pretend we have atoned for it. I’m on your side as far as the stop bitching about America goes, but i disagree that we are SOOO MUUCCCH better than everyone else. my view is we CAN be, so we should work to be. not through war, but by “doing it right” every democracy on earth today got the idea from us.

  51. cassandra_m says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    “Tens of thousands of cars are torched in France every year. At least 1147 were destroyed on New Year’s Eve 2008-‘9. The enraged pro-Hamas mobs that stormed through the city once a week in January, promising death to Israel and the Jews, smashed storefronts and burned cars.”

    Get rid of the Hamas and Israel politics and this isn’t too far from Devil’s Night in Detroit.

  52. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    If it makes you more comfortable to say that we’re just a little better than everyone else by most measures, go for it.
    Slavery is not our “original sin,” that’s getting into some heavy dogma you can’t get out of…does America need its own Jesus? Every country had slavery at one time and many still do, I’d say we run even with the rest of the world on that one, at my most modest estimation. I’m not willing to pay for the sins of early Americans, I didn’t enslave anyone, I’m not apologizing for it.
    I mentioned nothing about about being better through war, I’m not sure what you’re getting at there. But when it comes to war, nobody does it cleaner and more honest. We used to be pretty good at winning wars too, I guess that’s a demerit against us; we’ve gotten so sparkly clean and squishily honest that we can’t even crush our enemies with our obviously superior strengh.
    Can I get a hoorah for jingoism!

  53. cassandra_m says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    The number of good things in America out number and outweigh the bad things by unquantifiable bounds. To deny that is to be ignorant of the truth of the last 230 years(approx).

    This is definitely true. And no one here wants to deny the innumerable good things. But we will also be very clear-eyed about those places when we have not lived up to our promise OR still need work to make sure that the promise is alive for all. No place is Nirvana and everywhere you go you will be making tradeoffs. Pretending that there are none here is the real problem.

  54. a. price says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    “I’m not willing to pay for the sins of early Americans, I didn’t enslave anyone, I’m not apologizing for it.”
    because the world, of course, is all about you

  55. Jason Z says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Absolutely no one claims there is nothing wrong with America. It certianly hasn’t been done in this thread/blog.

  56. Miscreant says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Cassandra, you’re really hot when you make sense.

  57. Miscreant says:
    March 23, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Z,
    It would appear that, “constant whining self-effacement” has officially been replaced with self-flagellation.

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