Mr Cheney,
I hereby challenge you to a test of torture. Over the course of a few days, I will have trained professionals administer enhanced interrogation techniques to you. You will be subjected to nothing stronger than we have subjected the detainees that we have held in the War on Terror to. You will be waterboarded, sleep-deprived, held in stress positions and forced to stand naked in front of vicious dogs.
I understand that you have a bad heart, so I will have board-certified doctors that are capable of reviving you if the old ticker should freak out again. If that happens, you will be given a few hours of rest, and then we will recommence.
If you can go three days with out uttering the phrase “Barack Obama is the best President ever” we will shut up about you and your war on terror. You will get a free pass on all prosecutions in the future. But you can stop the interrogation at any time by simply uttering the phrase above on camera. If you do “break” you will have to shut up, forever about how we got good information from the people we tortured. Deal?