UPDATED: Free Advice For Conservative Republicans
Based on the response I am getting from conservatives, I have updated my advice for them:
1) Check out this chart.
2) Suck on it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Dear Conservative,
You don’t deserve it, because your assholery has put this country in a jam, but here is it. If you want to get your party out of the Marianas Trench of irrelevance that you’ve driven it into, follow this advice.
1) Admit that you were wrong to vote for Bush. You need to demonstrate to the rest of the country that some reality has penetrated your crazy head. That means really admit that Bush sucked and was a moron unfit to hold the position of dog catcher. Don’t give one of these Rick Jensen type, “I regret that he was not a conservative.” BS rationalizations. We are looking for a strong sign that you can distinguish between fantasy and reality.
2) Allow that all taxes are not evil. Again, if you want to talk to the adults you need to put away the things of childhood, and your 20 year jihad to see that Paris Hilton can skate through life without pulling her fair share of the burden is one of them.
3) Commit your party to being the champion of an isolationist foreign policy. This should be your bread and butter again. Swear off national building and being the world’s police force. Let the Democrats push for that. You guys, who always want to flip over the Risk board out of frustration, have no business talking to people outside of the United States. Leave that to us. And along those lines…
4) Get some genuine patriotism for a change. The phony-baloney flag waving, country music patriotism you guys go in for is shallow and nauseating to people who care about this country. Get some real patriotism by caring about the Constitution and parts of the country that you don’t happen to live in. Wave the flag, but wave it with the knowledge that it is a symbol of a country that does not torture. Period.
5) Impress us with the force of your moral example. Stop trying to berate everyone into upholding your moral code while you are in the middle of ditching your third wife. If you really think marriage is sacred, show us – don’t tell us. Also, if you honestly want to reduce the number of abortions in this country – begin by coming up with some actual ideas for reducing unwanted pregnancies that don’t include pretending that people will stop having sex if you yell at them. That would be impressive.
There you go. I know you will not follow this advice because you are a bunch of nit wits. However, we are all Americans and helping each other out is part of the deal.
My thoughts exactly.
And two more –
Marginalize, or just plain shun, the racists. And lay off the SkyDad shit in public policy, even if empirical evidence contradicts your beliefs.
Shunning racists would put a short term ding in their fundraising, but would pay off for them in the long run.
By forcing church into public policy they are hurting public policy and the church. Laying off skydad would be a win/win.
BBC World News (on NPR) is right now doing a hysterical report on anti-Obama attitudes in deep Wingnut-ia (conservative regions of Oklahoma), including interviews with wacky church ladies and clips from local radio shows.
You are very kind, thanks for the insight. Unfortunately it may be worth the price charged. š
One more — ditch your radio handlers. Rush and the crew do not give a damn about you, they care about using you to make more money for themselves.
And an edit to the Taxes thing — you must be more honest with people about their taxes. Stop leading people to believe that the services they get from government are free and isolated from inflation. If you are proposing tax cuts, stop telling people they pay for themselves and tell people what services you plan to cut.
I think that is the most important thing, Cassandra. So long as Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Rielly, and Beck wield influence, the party is doomed.
And of course, if you bash the ghey, don’t get caught days later with Indonesian boy-toy, or an Andy Sullivan hair-bear for that matter.
I’ve reached the conclusion that it’s too late to save the Republican Party. The 21%ers are now in control and will easily crush any attempt at reality. Jason’s points are valid, but, really, who’s left to implement them?
There’s a lesson here: Control your fringe – Even if that means losing votes.
If the 21%ers could understand the importance of point one, they could turn it around.
I’m old enough to remember when “conservative” meant hard headed, cut the bullshit, practicality.
It could not be further from that now thanks to the all the fantasies they’ve hard to adopt over the years – but it could mean that again if they do stuff like start accepting reality. There is a place for that kind of conservative party in this country.
Yes, go back to practicality.
-Stop being the anti-intellectual party.
-I agree about social issues, if you bring them up lead by example but propose solutions that reward good behavior rather than punish bad behavior.
-Start seeing the world as it is, and not how you wish it to be. Participate in it. It may have felt good to make your own schools and your own news channel, but it put you far outside the rest of the country.
-Agree, ditch the racists
-Don’t be apologists.
-Pretend to have some intellectual consistency. Deficits are fine for Bush, but not for Obama? Government spending is o.k. if it’s for war, etc.
-Don’t apologize to Rush, no matter how many angry letters or phone calls you get. It makes you look weak and impotent.
-Start trying to be a governing party
-Learn the art of compromise
Would you mind giving me some examples of real liberal patriotism over conservative patriotism?
When liberals serve in the military is it more patriotic? When liberals question and challenge the government is it more patriotic? When liberals resist things that they think are wrong is that more patriotic? I just donāt see what youāre getting at.
“Marginalize, or just plain shun, the racists.”
Like you guys did when donviti made his racist comment impersonating Michael Steele’s children? Like that, VC? Or does this only apply to conservatives because you guys constantly tell us how ānon-racistā you are?
That comment he made was flat-out racist! And all of you on this blog totally acquiesced!
I agree that ALL Americans need to shun racistsā¦but you all might want to start from within.
Dude,
This is great advice. Take it or leave it, but don’t come back with a bunch of red herrings and off topic bullshit.
Dear Conservative Republicans,
Please don’t take any of this advice. It is all bad. Jason is a lunatic, as you all know.
Please keep doing what you’re doing as things will get better for you very soon, I am sure. Remember that in God’s time a hundred years is only a second.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
I see your base shames you enough to compel you to defend your honor, BL.
BTW – I don’t know of the comment you’re referencing, but I do know DV very well….and he isn’t a bigot or racist of any sort.
And explain the shit coming out of Malkin’s, Beck’s and Billo’s mouths about the swine flu? They JUMPED all over this as an immigration issue, all the while the first outbreak in the US was contracted by a group of NYC Catholic schoolgirls who traveled to Cancun on spring break…
Shit, some of those freaks were raising the question if this was a bio-terrorist attack!
Please, BL, see those people for who they are….racist haters who prey on the ignorant in order to obtain personal glory and a fatter bank account.
Obviously, you haven’t listened to Beck. The only thing he has said is common sense that professionals have said. He is not making this an immigration issue. I think you tossed his name in the mix because you don’t like him.
Sure this is one more reason that we have to have better control of our borders because we need to know who and where people are for just such a reason. We know where the tourists where and that helped us contain it. If it had come from another province it could have spread like wildfire. That doesn’t mean we need to panic and close our border or start a full fledged militarization of our border. It does mean that we need better controls for the future.
From the April 27 edition of Premiere Radio Networks’ The Glenn Beck Program:
BECK: Mexico is in real trouble. What happens to a country that is in that much of an economic dire strait when they say no public events for possibly four weeks? What happens when the economy stops in Mexico because of an emergency in Mexico where no one can spend money? No one can go to a soccer game, a movie, go out to eat, nothing, for four weeks. What happens to that economy? Gee, it would be nice if we had border security now, wouldn’t it? What happens if there is a rash of deaths in Mexico and it’s not — they’re not dying here? And maybe it’s because it mutated differently down there, maybe it’s because we have better health care here — I don’t know. But if you are a family and you’re down in Mexico and you’re dying and those in America are not, why wouldn’t you flood this border? Why wouldn’t you come across this border? It’s exactly what I warned of — different scenario, different reason of — I was talking about economic collapse. People start to come and rush this border, then what happens? Gee, it would be nice if we had some border security.
No need to apologize, David. Your wanking is enough for me! LOL!
Beck aside, I guess you passively agree that the others mentioned above are using the flu to stoke xenophobia.
You know….since you thought I was wrong to include Beck and “pounced”, but nary a word about the others….
If they won’t take this advise, I am sure that other parties will. š
I am perfectly content to let them become the party of outcasts and rejects.
How do you take that Beck quote and make what you said in your first comment out of it? It seems more like what I said than what you said. I think Glenn is so effective that he scares you all.
I don’t pay much attention to the others. I like Malkin when she isn’t trying to out due Coulter, but I think she tries too hard to be shocking to get attention. It is a shame because she has the intellect and ability to be a real leader in the movement. I have confidence that she will take on that role one day. In the mean time, I don’t see any need to defend her statements any more than I do Coulter’s.
They both serve a very powerful role of challenging convention and making us think. It is part of the American free speech tradition, but as to specifics they are capable of defending themselves. They do not pretend to speak for the party.
scared? nah….
worried about people getting hurt is another matter.
“Get some real patriotism by caring about the Constitution and parts of the country that you donāt happen to live in.”
You mean like how the libtards support the 2nd Amendment?
Is that the best you could come up with loser? The truth stings don’t it?
Oh well. Try to do a bunch of morons a favor and see what I get? Nothing but grief.
Okay. Don’t take the best politcal strategy advice ever. See if I care.