Last week’s News Journal brings us this wacky letter to the editor:
I enjoyed your June 26 editorial pointing out politically prominent men involved in adulterous relationships. There are many more, each representing hundreds of column inches of newsprint taking the same approach: “ain’t it awful” – “poor wronged wife” – “ruined career.” Other aspects might be worth mentioning.
1. A woman who is surprised certainly doesn’t know her husband very well.
2. For every man who goes astray, there is a woman gone astray with him.
3. It takes testicles to succeed in politics. Is that what makes these men susceptible?
4. Everyone acts as though there is no such thing as an aggressive woman. That’s just not true.
5. Very few men know how to handle an aggressive woman. “Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned.” It takes some delicate maneuvering to avoid the determination of an intelligent, attractive woman who has you in her sights.
By pretending there are no aggressive women, and it is always the man’s fault, we make it almost impossible for any naive men to learn what they need to know. This is a complex topic and deserves a dispassionate approach.
Let’s start with this part:
Very few men know how to handle an aggressive woman. “Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned.” It takes some delicate maneuvering to avoid the determination of an intelligent, attractive woman who has you in her sights.
I agree this is pretty silly (be afraid, very afraid of attractive but aggressive women), but it puts into focus what I think of as a central issue of feminism: women are people, too. This may seem obvious to most of you but there is still a very strong tendency in our culture to portray women as guardians of the morals and defenders of the home. One thing that everyone should recognize is that not all women are the same: some women are aggressive, some women are shy, some women like pink, some don’t, some are mathematically talented, others are more verbally gifted, etc. Women are not all the same, we are individuals and we would like to be treated as such.
This one is simple:
It takes testicles to succeed in politics. Is that what makes these men susceptible?
NO, to all of it.
By pretending there are no aggressive women, and it is always the man’s fault, we make it almost impossible for any naive men to learn what they need to know. This is a complex topic and deserves a dispassionate approach.
Again, I agree (sorta)! It’s not only the woman’s fault either, as the letter writer implies. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. This is what I consider as a second principle of feminism (stop blaming the victim). When someone has an affair, both people are at fault – the married person knows they are married and the person they are carrying on the affair with knows they are married (usually). Unless there is something else going on, this is an agreement between two consenting adults. Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards and Eliot Spitzer all went into their affairs with their eyes wide open, and now they are feeling the consequences, as they should.