Michael Gerson’s Washington Post’s Lost In A World Without Courtship article is silly and shallow. It also completely ignores one of the major factors determining when people decide to marry. Economics.
But the facts of life for 20-somethings are challenging. Puberty — mainly because of improved health — comes steadily sooner. Sexual activity kicks off earlier. But the average age at which people marry has grown later; it is now about 26 for women, 28 for men.
This opens a hormone-filled gap — a decade and more of likely sexual activity before marriage. And for those in that gap, there is little helpful guidance from the broader culture. Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, argues that the “courtship narrative” in the past was clear: dating, engagement, marriage, children. This narrative has been disrupted without being replaced, leaving many 20-somethings in a “relational wasteland.”
Relational wasteland? The article continues its downward spiral until Gerson is forced to play the think about the children card. Guess he’s one of those who think that a marriage without children isn’t really a marriage, or it could be halfway through writing this drivel it dawned on him how ridiculous it sounded.
But the main problem with this piece (besides the oh so predictable “sex is bad and should be punished” conservative meme) is that Gerson completely ignores the economics of marriage, and since he’s longing for the good old days… wasn’t there a time when a man had to prove he could afford to marry?
And, let’s face it, without the maturity to plan for the economics of marriage, the “courtship” will end quickly when the newlyweds end up moving into mom and dad’s basement. But – hey – at least they’ll be married, so sex is now permissible. And isn’t that really the entire point of this article?