Day 3 C&S

I had a real craving today and as the weekend gets closer the cravings are getting more pronounced.  I really wanted a beer today and felt my body really looking forward to Friday.  I pass by Brewer’s Outlet everyday and the past few weeks have been stopping in on Friday’s to grab a case for the weekend festivities.  I usually bring a 6 or 12 to a friends to compensate for my aggregious face stuffing among other things.  Then that leaves a 12 pack for me at the house and for the rest of the week.  These are the kind of things I have to adjust too. 

But the problem isn’t just adjusting a pattern.  It is adjusting my behavior.   The habit, addictive habit, of making a habit of stopping at a liquor store every friday for a case of beer.  4 cases a month.  $20 a week at least.  Not to mention the drowning my liver takes 🙂   But the beer, the beer is so good.  It taste so damn awesome.  I just spent a week in Amsterdam drinking real Amstel and Heinekens. 

I’m not sure how many times I thought about a drink today but it definitely eclipsed 50 is my guess.  I may be thinking aboout it more b/c I’m giving it up, but the craving I had today was real, very real.  It was a different craving than the past few days.  I could taste the beer.  I saw the bottle and imagined drinking it.  The taste flowing over my pallet.  The “ahhh” that follows the first sip of a freshly popped pale ale.  It was palpabable.  It was a little scary because it was real.  It was my body TELLING me it needs, not wants, needs a beer. 

The Mrs. Viti and I had a little tiff today and at one point I started to say fuck it and was just going to drink.  A commenter on my day one post said,

“there is always an excuse to drink and a reason no too”

I’m sure that is something they say at AA.  One of the may one liners they have at the ready.  I repeated that one over and over after I read it and it really does make sense.  My saying f’ it to this commitment 3 days in after an arguement with the wife was an excuse…but it was also a reason not too.  I think that saying is going to stick with me.  I just hope I don’t get the order wrong and find a reason to drink and excuse as to why I did.