ha ha funny

Filed in National by on October 2, 2009

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. 

“You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301 .

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow , pusha 3. When you get out, I’mma on the left. With you elbow , hit my doorbell.” 

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
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“What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?”

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Comments (3)

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  1. a. price says:
    October 2, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    funny, but i expected more out of you…
    *clears throat*

    A town in the midwest was having horrible rains and was near a dam. By all reports the dam was going to break flooding the whole area in at least 30 feet of water. Total destruction. The National Guard ordered evacuations of everyone and everything. As guard troops were helping people leave, they came to the local Rabbi’s house (i think the ONLY Rabbi in the midwest)…
    “Rabbi, come with us sir, the flood is comming”
    “thank you” the Rabbi said “but God will save me”
    the guardsmen move on.
    Later the waters are up to the second floor of most houses… a boat comes by and again tries to get the Rabbi out of his house
    “the lord will save me” he says.
    the next day the water is up to rooftop, the dam is about to break and the only person left in town is the Rabbi guardsmen fly over his roof in a helicopter and drop a ladder
    “Rabbi! the dam is about to break, you MUST get on the helicopter now!”
    “I am a faithful man, i know God will save me”
    the chopper flies off, and sure enough minutes later the dam breaks and the Rabbi drowns

    He, of course goes to heaven and gets his “welcome to heaven” meeting with God
    “Almighty God” the Rabbi says “I have been a faithful man in service to you my whole life. i am very happy to be in heaven, but why didn’t you save me from the flood?”
    “Didn’t save you?!” God says. “Shmuck! I sent the jeep, and the boat and the helicopter…..

  2. D.C. says:
    October 2, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    That’s almost as funny as one of your poems!!!

  3. a. price says:
    October 2, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    i dont get it dc

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