Somewhere in the inter-tubes, there is a young man in his twenties living at home with his 73 year-old father. The father is opinionated and not at all PC. He tells it like it is and his son posts one priceless comment a day from the mouth of his father at http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays.
Here are some examples of the wit and wisdom of the old man in regards to the family dog and his son:
Aug 4: “The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside.”
Aug 18: “The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”
Aug 26: “The dog don’t like you planting stuff there. It’s his backyard. If you’re the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that.”
Sep 28: “It’s not the gardener’s job to pick up the dog shit. If you don’t want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening.”
But my absolute favorite is from Sep 19th:
“Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you.”