2nd RD-Hazel Plant: “Vote for me and I promise to not show up for work. This is a promise that I’ve proudly kept for the last two terms, and I’m deeply committed to not showing up for the next one either, should you honor me by voting for me to continue in my no-show job.”
11th RD-Greg Lavelle: “Vote for me and I promise to only represent my well-heeled constituents on the western side of Concord Pike. To my Claymont constituents, stop whining and go out and get a real job already. To alleged victims of pedophilia by priests and pediatricians, hey, life isn’t fair. Suck it up.”
21st RD-Mike Ramone: “Vote for me and I promise to act more like a representative and less like a befuddled constituent. I promise to occasionally read a bill before asking the most simplistic questions on the House floor.”
26th RD-John Viola: “Vote for me and I promise to continue to promote special interest legislation on behalf of the alcoholic beverage industry and the anonymous casino high-rollers. I also pledge to continue my record of being the first person out the door when session ends. I also pledge to do nothing else.”
28th RD-Bill Carson: “Vote for me and I promise to continue buying the first round every afternoon at Happy Hour. I’ll even get a secretary who will read my e-mails to me quicker, since I can’t be bothered to learn how to read e-mail myself, nor should I have to since I’m an elected official. And a quicker reading will enable me to get to Happy Hour earlier. Say, 2 p.m.”