Impossible to Satirize the GOP
Back in my blogging days I might have written something like this:
Prediction: Fox News runs 7 straight weeks of investigative stories documenting the facts of Chris Coons’ record; that he is more evil than Hitler, more brutal than Stalin, more committed to global socialism than Che Guevara, and two times scarier than Malcolm X and Malcolm-Jamal Warner put together.
I wouldn’t write that now.
Chris Coons perfected his rifling skills on a grassy knoll. Chris Coons read Machiavelli to a young Austrian painter. Chris Coons enslaved the Israelites. Chris Coons caused a flood. Chris Coons made all the amoeba flee the primordial sludge. Chris Coons spurned the Infinite.
And all I got religion is in my politics.
chris coons stole my lolly pop.
@a.price ain’t sucking teabags and we’re talking a wost wolly!
Here, let me help. GOPissed off.
Chris Coons punched a baby in the face.
Chris Coons removes mattress tags.
Chris Coons was the second gunman.
Chris Coons is hiding Osama bin Laden in his basement.
Chris Coons’ middle name is Rack.
Chris Coons kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.
Chris Coons convinced Amy Winehouse to do crack, Britney Spears to have children, and FOX to cancel Firefly.