Jason’s 3 Simple Ways to Create Jobs in Delaware & 2 Simple Bonus Ways to Create Jobs in America – Part 1

Filed in National by on January 23, 2011

Ever since Jack Markell’s State of the State Address, I’ve been trying to think of ways the government could leverage its resources to “create jobs.” The internet was not much help. For example I found teabagger now Senator Marco Rubio’s “23 Simple Ways” to create jobs. 9 of the first 10 simple ideas involve shoving money into the pockets of wealth people and hoping they hire another housekeeper.

That plays well for the misanthropic Florida geezers Rubio represents, but bitter experience tells us that tax cuts are not the magical job creating unicorn that conservatives still imagine them to be. SO what then?

Well after careful consideration I’ve come up with my list of three time tested, historically proven, job creation strategies for Delaware.

1) Become the next entrepreneurial mecca. We talk a lot about entrprenship, but under my plan it is now your job as a Delawarean to start a company. Start 20 and if 19 fail, the 20th is going to be a winner. We’ve taken the risk out of it because you don’t have to have a business license, or incorporate for 2 years, and you can apply your start up losses against your personal income taxes. TALK ABOUT A HUGE TAX BREAK!! [This already exists, but people don’t know about it. We’ll promote the shit out of the fact that YOU YES YOU! Can turn your good idea into a business in Delaware.] Delaware isn’t the tax free shoppng state anymore, it is the “Entrepreneur State BITCHES!!” Print that on the license plates. If you are a state legislator, your report card now contains, “How many companies started in your district during your term?” What? None!?! Take a hike loser. It is start-up city up in this motherfucker. Get on the bus, or get the fuck back to New Jersey. Perception is reality. What West Virgina is to coal mining and cousin marriage, Delaware will be to business incubation. 20 years from now…”Oh you are from Delaware? Which fortune 500 company did you start?”

And, yeah, if you are a “green economy” or “high tech” entrepreneur move here. Set up in Delaware because we’ll kiss your ass five ways to Sunday and provide you with a ton of “ready to work” labor graduating from our top notch technical schools and universities (see simple idea #2 in Part 2 of this post)

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (9)

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  1. I think it would be a refreshing change if state governments bribed small businesses in the state as much as they did big business.

  2. anon says:

    Good idea. Needs health care and child care coverage to work.

    Other problem, there aren’t enough people in Delaware to form a customer base for new small retail. Most small businesses are contractors or consultants to big businesses, replacing jobs done by employees they have fired.

    The typical startup in Delaware would be a one-man consultant providing services to a single large corporation, perhaps a Delaware bank or some out-of-state corporation.

    So small business is dependent on large business. And large business depends on consumers having disposable income.

  3. Jason330 says:

    Sounds like you have an old economy mindset.

  4. Mongo says:

    Mongo would love to be an entrepreneur like Jason wants. However, unless Mongo’s father in law is Senator Venables, it takes much more than a great idea to raise capital for a new project. So, Mongo would have to risk his family’s meager savings to finance his risky endeavour, right? But I also agree that with the internet and eBay, there is no need to have a consumer base within this area code. If Mongo were to build wooden canoes, for cheaper and better than anyone else, Mongo could sell them, all through online sales. But that start-up capital is what makes Mongo stay in his dead-end job.

  5. Jason330 says:

    Speaking in the third person and having the name Mongo might make it difficult for you to raise money.

  6. anon says:

    Sounds like you have an old economy mindset.

    Sounds like you have health care and child care.

  7. Shorter Jason- Don’t do anything substantive, just say you are friendlier.

    That is a start. It is better than bashing business.

  8. Dave says:

    Three things:

    1) Most of the great entrepreneurial ecosystems (SV, Austin, etc.) are largely self generating and self sustaining. Those communities grow themselves through VC, spinoffs, interaction, etc. And most are aligned/attached to major universities (and federal research money.) It could happen here, but it won’t be “created” by the government.

    2) To be attractive, we need to fix our schools. A lot of talk and money has been expended, but we seem to be no closer to achieving that goal.

    3) I applaud the call for people to start their own business. I started my business in the darkest days of the Great Recession for about $800, so don’t say it can’t be done. There are a whole lot of businesses that can be started for little money and that don’t require you to leave your job before your business is self-sustaining.