Ever since Jack Markell’s State of the State Address, I’ve been trying to think of ways the government could leverage its resources to “create jobs.” The internet was not much help. For example I found teabagger now Senator Marco Rubio’s “23 Simple Ways” to create jobs. 9 of the first 10 simple ideas involve shoving money into the pockets of wealth people and hoping they hire another housekeeper.
That plays well for the misanthropic Florida geezers Rubio represents, but bitter experience tells us that tax cuts are not the magical job creating unicorn that conservatives still imagine them to be. SO what then?
Well after careful consideration I’ve come up with my list of three time tested, historically proven, job creation strategies for Delaware.
1) Become the next entrepreneurial mecca. We talk a lot about entrprenship, but under my plan it is now your job as a Delawarean to start a company. Start 20 and if 19 fail, the 20th is going to be a winner. We’ve taken the risk out of it because you don’t have to have a business license, or incorporate for 2 years, and you can apply your start up losses against your personal income taxes. TALK ABOUT A HUGE TAX BREAK!! [This already exists, but people don’t know about it. We’ll promote the shit out of the fact that YOU YES YOU! Can turn your good idea into a business in Delaware.] Delaware isn’t the tax free shoppng state anymore, it is the “Entrepreneur State BITCHES!!” Print that on the license plates. If you are a state legislator, your report card now contains, “How many companies started in your district during your term?” What? None!?! Take a hike loser. It is start-up city up in this motherfucker. Get on the bus, or get the fuck back to New Jersey. Perception is reality. What West Virgina is to coal mining and cousin marriage, Delaware will be to business incubation. 20 years from now…”Oh you are from Delaware? Which fortune 500 company did you start?”
And, yeah, if you are a “green economy” or “high tech” entrepreneur move here. Set up in Delaware because we’ll kiss your ass five ways to Sunday and provide you with a ton of “ready to work” labor graduating from our top notch technical schools and universities (see simple idea #2 in Part 2 of this post)