Yeah, I’m on a pet peeve roll, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.
I love technology as much as the next person, and I shudder to think how much time I spend with my gadgets, but there are times to put the damned gadgets away. Dining with other humans is the first instance that comes to mind. It seems placing your smart phone on the table is as much a ritual as placing a napkin on your lap. And I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve sat at a table with friends, enjoying conversation, while one of us is texting, tweeting, or surfing.
It’s rude.
And I’m not the only one who’s complaining:
I’ve gotten progressively ruder with my friends, who, even when just hanging out in the evening, keep their iPhones and Blackberrys in their hands. I understand the desire to check your email, stocks, Facebook wall, OKCupid or Grindr message in those moments when you simply have to walk or sit on a train or scarf some lunchtime Chipotle. But when you are actually among people you know, the act of glancing down at your mobile device is simply bad manners. It states absolutely that your current interaction is not as important or as interesting as any number of online connections. It’s rude. And it misses the point.
The point is that these devices can enhance your social life, not replace it. And yet they seem like cuckoos in our social nest. I know I’m not one to talk. I communicate directly with probably ten times the number of people online that I do by face or physical presence. (Summers in Provincetown change that ratio dramatically, thank God.) But I try not to do both at once.
I’ve become progressively ruder with my friends, as well. It’s like the person who’s always looking past your shoulder during a conversation searching for someone “better” to talk with. But, hey, maybe I’m boring!
At the Pandora household technology is banned at the dinner table. There are exceptions in certain cases (work/school related, illness, etc.), but these situations must be announced. Example: I’m expecting a call from work about X, and I need to take it. Fine, but when that call comes in the person must leave the table.
What I’m talking about is basic manners. No one wants to sit at a table and listen to your phone conversation. No one wants to be kept apprised of your latest Tweet or what someone said on Facebook. We won’t die if we don’t find out what Donald Trump said the second he said it. And it’s not that I’m not interested in this stuff, it’s that there’s a time and a place.
Besides, it could be making you stupid.
….But here’s the thing: there is convincing evidence that this inveterate multitasking has a serious, measurable and long lasting negative effect on cognitive function. Look up Stanford psychologist Clifford Nass sometime. There’s a lovely episode of Frontline from a year or so ago featuring him. He has shown that multitaskers are not only bad at multitasking, but they are also worse than nonmultitaskers on every individual one of the tasks.
That’s the millennial student and it isn’t something to be catered to. Put the damn iPhone down before you make yourself stupid.
Guess what else is growing around the dining table. The number of times someone glued to their technology says, “Huh? What did you say?” So… if you are out socializing with friends (me!) put the technology away, or… stay home.
Who’s with me! Or… against me. 🙂