So it’s 6 pm, and you’re still here…
… now it could mean that the Rapture happened and you were left behind. If you are Pat Robertson, I am sure you are very upset right now.
Or it could mean that this was all bullshit to begin with. Of course it was. There was never any doubt to that. Sure, we hyped it up sarcastically and irreverently, but that is because we liberals are often sarcastic and irreverent.
So what now? What if you one of this idiots who spent their life savings on this viral non-event? Gawker provides you with some options:
Act Casual–Now that the Rapture hasn’t happened, the best way for believers to save face is to just play off the whole thing like it wasn’t a big deal in the first place: “I mean, I am pretty surprised God didn’t descend from the sky and call up His faithful to heaven yesterday. But I really thought the Pistons would make the playoffs, too.”
Fake It–If you don’t think you can face your family and friends after years of harping on about a Rapture that didn’t happen, you could make your own Rapture. Hide in the attic and pretend you got raptured. If anyone tries to get you to come down just be like, “Na na na, can’t hearrrrrr you ’cause I’m in heaven partying with the angels!” Live the rest of your life in the attic. […]
Push It Back–The rapture has been delayed more than the opening of the Spider-Man musical. The guy who started this thing, 89-year-old Family Radio Worldwide founder Harold Camping, first predicted the Rapture would happen in 1994, but then revised it in light of new “research.” Now that the Rapture didn’t happen again, it’s just a matter of a few minutes of Googling to figure out the real date of the Rapture. Tip: Pick May 21st, 2111 so you only have to change one number on all your signs.
Beat Up The Guy Who Told You There Would Be a Rapture–Show up early because there’s going to be a line. Harold Camping’s church has amassed a net worth of $72 million with this end-of-the-world scam, and he’s not offering refunds.
Stop Believing In Fake Bullshit–This will never happen, of course.
Now, as before, it is important to use condoms. If Christ wants to get all pissy about it He can dig around the waste basket in the bathroom.
Maybe it’ll be tomorrow. Did anyone stop to think that maybe God wanted to see how Cliff Lee would do against the Rangers?
Mock while you still can, it’s beginning in Iceland…
I vote for beating the shit out of Harold Camping first and then trying to re-educate all the morons who believe in this shit.
If the site below is even close to being legitimate it pretty much blows the whole earthquake(S) will end the world right out of the water.
I’ve known for years that everyday various parts of the world experience earthquakes big and small. Harold Camping’s theories are a complete waste of time and he should never be taken seriously again.
Take a look http://neic.usgs.gov/neis/qed/.
For sale: White on white celestial robe with sky blue accents.$10 OBO
http://gawker.com/5804346/how-true-believers-dealt-with-the-failed-apocalypse
Reuters spent some time with a camping follower who burned $140k of his money spreading the gospel. He was a little confused.
I’m disappointed. I really didn’t want to go to work on Monday. I guess a bunch of school kids are bummed as well.