A New Tax Pledge (Involving Grover Norquist’s Balls):
Let us say, and why not, that the Rude Pundit created an organization, one of yer fancy 501c3’s or some such shit, the kind of organization that could get lots of free-flowin’ cash from his buddies and their corporations. And let us say, and, indeed, why not, since we are in the realm of theory, that our organization was called “Americans for Taxual Healing” or one of those idiotic names that obfuscates what we’re really about. Let’s say that we came up with a pledge, one that we wanted all members of Congress to sign, one that would liberate them, but one that demanded something from them.The pledge could go something like this:
“I, _____, pledge to the taxpayers of the ____ district of the state of ______ and to the American people that I will: ONE, kick Grover Norquist in the balls whenever he is within kicking range; and TWO, freely vote my conscience on tax raises and cuts, dependent on the reality of economic circumstance, unshackled from bullshit pledges (except this one).”
Then, in this fantasy world we’re concocting, whenever Grover Norquist walked up to a member of Congress to lobby them on his mad “never-ever, no-how, no-matter-what, you-better-not raise taxes” pledge, that member of Congress could say, “Sorry, Grover. Signed another pledge first,” and kick him in the balls. As Norquist rolled around on the ground, holding his groin, he might at first wonder “Why? Why?” but then he would have to admit, “A pledge is a pledge.” Yeah, that’s putting the “action” into a PAC.