Given all the stupid articles ever written about sex, this has to be the stupidest.
Grab a cup of coffee, this is going to take a while.
Women are jumping into the sack faster and with fewer expectations about long-term commitments than ever, effectively discounting the “price” of sex to a record low, according to social psychologists. […]
“The price of sex is about how much one party has to do in order to entice the other into being sexual,” said Kathleen Vohs, of the University of Minnesota, who has authored several papers on “sexual economics.” “It might mean buying her a drink or an engagement ring. These behaviors vary in how costly they are to the man, and that is how we quantify the price of sex.”
By boiling dating down to an economic model, researchers have found that men are literally getting lots of bang for their buck. Women, meanwhile, are getting very little tat for their . . . well, you get the idea.
Do people still think this way? Does a guy still say, “Hey, Doll Face, I expect to get laid tonight after springing for that lobster.” Seriously? I doubt it.
Notice, also, how the writer portrays men as the winners. They get what they want, while women… Well, it can’t be that women want sex, could it? Could it possibly be that women can enjoy sex without (gasp!) commitment? I’m really tired of this sort of article – more tired of people who agree with it: People who believe bargaining with sex will lead to a happily-ever-after.
Here’s the deal. If a person is only interested in having sex with you, then whether or not you sleep with them will not generate a commitment. Sorry, won’t happen. It drives me nuts that society keeps telling women that withholding sex will get them what they are “supposed” to want. God forbid, a woman could have sex because she enjoys sex.
“Every sex act is part of a ‘pricing’ of sex for subsequent relationships,” Regnerus said. “If sex has been very easy to get for a particular young man for many years and over the course of multiple relationships, what would eventually prompt him to pay a lot for it in the future — that is, committing to marry?”
It always comes back to that ring on the finger. It’s also as if women are just a series of vaginas. No brains. No distinct personalities. Nothing more to offer than sex. Have sex too soon? No marriage for you, you bad girl! Who cares if you’re awesome?
So, what can women do to return the balance of sexual power in their favor? Stop putting out, experts say. If women collectively decided to cross their legs, the price of sex would soar and women would regain control of the market.
This is beyond offensive – to men, as well as women. I’m really tired of being told women are in charge of men’s basic urges; that it is somehow our job to civilize them. You know who uses that excuse? A rapist.
This summer a male neighbor stopped over. He started going off on how women dress. His exact words: They are dressed like they want to have sex. My response: Maybe they want to have sex. The expression on his face was priceless. The idea that a woman would want to have sex never dawned on him. Poor guy. After a moment, he continued: Well, they’re asking for it. Now you can imagine my expression. “Really?” I said. “Here’s a newsflash. Just because a women wants to have sex doesn’t mean she wants to have it with you.” Needless to say, he left in a huff. Oh, well.
Viewing sex as a commodity is dangerous. It takes us back to the day of the lobster dinner; to a place where wearing a mini skirt equals a discounted price. It takes us to a place where women are merely products, not unique individuals.
It’s also a load of crap. Sex and love are not synonymous. They can exist together, but pretending they always do is foolish. Wanting to marry a person because it’s the only way to get them into bed is a recipe for disaster. Telling women that not having sex will lead them to Prince Charming is a lie; Telling them that they are selling a commodity and need to up their price is vile.
Women like sex. If you don’t believe that fact… well, it must suck to be you. You, and your partner, have my deepest sympathies.