I have never really thought about this, even though I’ve used the word “creepy” to describe certain men.
Via Jezebel:
At the heart of the “anti-creep shaming campaign” is a concerted effort to discourage women from relying on their instincts to protect themselves from harm. Laying aside its likely etymology, calling a dude an “asshole” is a way of labeling him a jerk. Plenty of people can be jerks without being predatory. On the other hand, calling a dude “creepy” labels him as a potential threat; a creep may not be imminently violent, but there’s almost always a sense that he shows consistent disregard for a woman’s physical or psychological space. This is why, as Wakeman wrote, “it’s a really freaking dangerous idea to twist a woman’s open, honest communication about her boundaries/expectations into ‘creep shaming’ that victimizes men.”
Though the word may be occasionally used unfairly (for example, to describe a physically unattractive guy’s genuinely respectful attempt at striking up a conversation), “creepy” serves a vital function. No other word is as effective as describing when a man has crossed a woman’s boundary; no other word forces a man to reflect on how his behavior makes other people feel. A guy can disprove accusations of being weak by displaying strength (often in foolish ways.) But a guy can only disprove the charge of creepiness by fundamentally altering his behavior to be more genuinely respectful of women. [emphasis mine]
That’s pretty accurate. In fact, whenever I’ve heard this word used I’ve understood exactly what the speaker was saying – there’s something off, something uncomfortable, something simmering beneath the surface. Something that can’t be defined, but exists.
And it has nothing to do with a guys looks. What I mean is that “handsome” men are labeled creepy, too. Creepy is about behavior, and how that behavior makes you feel. I also think the reason the word carries such power is because it’s used sparingly and accurately. If someone is creepy you don’t trust them. If someone is creepy it means they make you uncomfortable.
And it’s not only women labeling certain men as creepy. I’ve seen plenty of other men agree with their female friends’ assessment. Creepy may be a term used mostly by women, but men pick up on creepiness, as well. They say things like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” That seems to be the definition of creepy.
I’m not saying that everyone labeled as creepy is dangerous, and there are times when the word is used inappropriately, but not many. In fact, I’d say that this word is probably used more appropriately than most “insults.”