Foster Family Recruitment in Delaware (Updated with Lt. Gov. Denn’s Response to some Comments)
UPDATE:
Lt. Gov. Denn emailed me the following in response to some concerns in the comments below.
Just saw some of the comments on the web site about foster care. For what it is worth, the foster parents who are recruited through this initiative are going to be working with private agencies such as Children and Families First and Children’s Choice that contract with the state to oversee and assist foster families — not directly with the Division of Family Services, though DFS is ultimately responsible for the safety and welfare of the children. Right now responsibility for overseeing foster parents is split between DFS and these private agencies, but the new families will go exclusively to the agencies, where hopefully there are not as many concerns.
If any foster family is concerned about its interaction with the state or about a rule that the family thinks is unreasonable, I would like to know about it. We want this to work, there is no point recruiting all these new families if they are not going to stick around. People can contact me at my state e-mail (matthew.denn@state.de.us), I read all of them myself.
We have a foster family shortage in Delaware. The number of foster children that need homes outpaces the number of foster families available to take them in, by an astounding 2 to 1 margin. Therefore, Lt. Governor Matt Denn is asking religious organizations, churches, mosques, and synagogues from around the state to ask their congregations to consider opening their homes for these foster children.
“These are kids who have been dealt some of the toughest hands of any kids in our state,” says Lt. Gov. Matt Denn. “Many of them are in foster care because they were abused, because they were neglected, because they were abandoned by the people who were supposed to take care of them.”
He’s reaching out to churches in Delaware in hopes of finding just one family in each congregation to consider opening their home to one of these foster kids. “We have a moral obligation to make things okay for them. To give them a stable and a loving environment in which to live.”
As Lt. Governor Denn said to me, this is the kind of issue where people of disparate opinions and different religions can come together and work together, and he said, during the press events announcing this initiative throughout the state, “it really was encouraging to see everyone on the same page about something.”
So if you have the means and the opportunity, consider opening your home to a child in need. Below is the recruitment video on this initiative that has been pulled together.
They need to reevaluate some of the rules that have nothing to do with protecting children.
@David: I know nothing about this issue. What sort of rules are you referring to?
I don’t know what rules are being referenced but I know when I used to take in foster kids years ago DFS was horrible to deal with. Unless this has improved I don’t see the state retaining good foster families.
“…religious organizations, churches, mosques, and synagogues..”
I guess they’re not too concerned about religious indoctrination.
@AQC–agree completely. We initially had our oldest daughter (whom we later adopted) as a foster child. If we had not been hell-bent on adopting her, all the interactions with DFS would have made us send her back. Sound callous? Try it.
We were overriden by an idiot educational surrogate in IEP meetings.
We had a DFS worker come in and remove her from our house for a weekend of “respite” that neither she nor we thought was necessary.
We had DFS first provide financial support, then yank it, then try to collect back what little they had provided when they decided we made too much money. (What had we done with the money? Put it in her college fund).
We had DFS workers second-guessing any discipline (child was fourteen or fifteen), and we’re not talking corporal punishment here, we’re talking being grounded plus taking away phone privileges for missing curfew or not doing homework.
It’s a nightmare.
I give foster families a lot of credit. I see it all the time where these kids steal bring drugs into their home and constantly run away with no consequence aside from being placed in another home. These kids in a lot of cases are damaged goods and I agree about the incompetence of DFS. When a state agency has no dress code and they’re seen walking around in essentially pajamas then that should indicate a lack of viable supervision and standards.
RE: e-mail: “I read all of them myself”
This is why Matt Denn is a class act. He is truly looking out for Delawareans and actually listens to us.
Our experience w/ DFS was exceptional–and I truly mean that. We dealt w/ the Dover office–even though we were in NCC, and could not be more satisfied in their handling of the placements that came our way (at least 30). Sure, you have a few snags, but that’s the nature of an already chaotic event that is happening already in this disrupted life of a child–but NOTHING that deterred us from continuing for probably over 10 years. I do, and have credited Gov. Minner w/ priortizing efficiency in that area, and Pres. Clinton establishing more finite timetables of re-unification vs. terminating parental rights.
That being said–“something”–I don’t know what–happened a few years ago. When we took children it was always w/ the understanding they go where we go–vacations, travel etc. DFS was fine w/ that, and gave us paperwork for airports and such identifying responsibilities. Well, our last long term placement involved a little girl, and off we were planning to go to Disney, notifying DFS per usual. Brakes on. They said “not this time–need permission from birth mother”. I thought OK–I know they need to know if child is out of state–but permission? Long story short–mom says no–she doesn’t want her child to go. My side is–we’ve paid for this trip, this has never been a problem w/ all sorts of travel, and I’m not leaving this young one behind her full well knowing we are in Disney–and she is young, I don’t want her having another disruption w/ alternative placement. DFS agrees, and then informs me they will be talking to the attorneys of next step. Attorneys say, she can’t go if birth mother doesn’t agree–however, case is made to mother that it would look really good for mom that she agree to provide this opportunity for her child. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Before, it was just the parent had to know the child was out of state–I was being told now, the parent has to AGREE the child is going out of state. But it gets better–this child had an older sibling no longer in our care (placed w/ some family person aiding the re-unification)–this older child on a visit back reports to us her mother said “they are taking everyone except for you…” about other trips that mother put the nix on. Mother Dearest has now created distrust and envy in a situation that she should have no input–beyond being informed. It made a situation more toxic to allow her that manipulation leverage.
The new travel piece–whatever it was–we knew would limit our ability going forward to continue taking children. Then the Dover office closed, transferring our site to NCC–and that was a whole different beast. Not a real warm and fuzzy, cohesive group. We stopped then–but w/ truly only admirable opinions of the whole DFS/Foster Care experience out of Dover. They did a heck of alot of work and good in truly trying and difficult situations. That work ain’t pretty.
@Steve and Joanne – Those stories are infuriating. It’s stories like that that make people hate government.
Having been a CASA in Sussex County, working with DFS in both Sussex and Kent (Dover) on a number of cases, mostly teens, for about 7 years, I concur with Joanne’s majority of experiences with the system as being well handled. In fact, the entire Delaware Way, as I experienced it as a CASA, deserves praise, from the Family Courts to DFS and most of all to the foster parents. The entire process works quite well, in which case I have seen truly remarkable changes for the better in most of these children. Just yesterday I witnessed the graduation from HS of one of my kids, quite an achievement for him. My hat is off to foster families, like Joanne’s and Steve’s, who make these commitments to children, then work at and through all the challenges as best they can.
I looked into becoming a foster parent, years ago. The conditions under which my children live aren’t good enough for a foster child. We don’t have enough bathrooms, etc. Okay. I know how important plumbing is, for a child in crisis. @@
I’ve known a lot of first families over the years, who had kids in foster care. Quite a few foster families, too. My impression is it’s gotten much more difficult. I wish Lt. Gov Denn luck with it. Hate the video.