Rude Pundit’s Lesson on Republican Economics

Chris Christie brought shame to his alma matter once again. This time he made his old Delaware professors squirm by sweating all over the stage the the GOP clustf*ck, and repeating the thoroughly discredited lies of Republican economics. I didn’t watch the speech, but the speech promoted the Rude Pundit to write up this summary of Christie’s economic theories and so Christie accidentally did some good.

Imagine you have a friend who a few years back heard that if you feed poodles money they will shit out gold bricks. So your friend starts feeding his hard-earned cash to all the pampered poodles he can find, and they gobble those bills down. But, surprise, surprise, despite what he heard, the dogs end up shitting shit. Still, he clings to this bizarre, completely disproven idea: poodles shit gold. Now, after some time, he’s low on cash. You tell your friend to stop putting out plates of money for the goddamned poodles. No, your friend says. Instead, he must cut back on other things, like doctor visits and food and more, just so he’ll have the spare money to give the fucking dogs. “One day, these little bitches are gonna pay off,” he tells you, sounding completely crazy, “and I’ll be on easy street.” But until then, he’s just got hands that stink like dog shit. And there’s your lesson in Republican economics.