Guards tired of Atkins visits.

State Legislature: “Tell me about it.”

“Atkins is always coming in here like everyone should be soooo happy to see him, them he just hangs around and gets on everyone’s nerves.” said the State Legislature. “I can’t tell you how man times I’ve picked up a half empty can of his Diet Coke and poured it out. He think’s they’re free for gosh sakes!”

The State Legislature ticked off a list of Atkins’ annoying habits which included; leaving the seat up, tuneless whistling all the goddam time, ignoring the word “recycling” clearly printed on receptacles, ‘borrowing” everyone’s scissors, his boring “This one time in jail…” stories, taking about ‘Big Bang Theory’ as if liking that show means he is smart, his constant “Indian Dunkin-Donuts guy” impersonations, microwaving smelly leftovers, loudly bragging about how gullible voters in his district are, and basically being alive on planet Earth.

The State Legislature acknowledged that the last item was harsh but added, “Seriously though, he is so fucking annoying, you have no idea.”

But seriously….

If you read that NJ story, Atkins is revealed to be a total idiot and an irresponsible dick. He put guards in danger, gets them in trouble with their superiors and mocks them – just for good measure.

“If Lt Wise feels like she was burdened by doing her job, I’m sorry for that. I hope she doesn’t feel like every visitor that come in there burdens her. She does have a job to do.”

Other visitors don’t come three days a week to hang around, shoot the breeze for three hours, and order in pizza.