con·sent
/kənˈsent/
Noun
Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
Verb
Give permission for something to happen: “he consented to a search by a detective”.
Sometimes you come across an article that won’t let you move onto other things. Here’s mine:
MARCH 22–A New York City man flying cross country with his 12-year-old son allegedly put his hand underneath the skirt of a sleeping female passenger and massaged her thigh, an act he later defended by telling the victim, “It’s not like I molested you. It’s not like I stuck my my finger in your pussy or grabbed your tits.” […]
As detailed in a probable cause statement, a few hours into the flight the woman took medication to help her fall asleep. About 40 minutes before arrival at John F. Kennedy International Airport, the woman “woke up… to Zorse massaging her thigh underneath her skirt.” […]
When questioned by investigators, Zorse claimed that he believed the female passenger was “flirting with him, telling him he was attractive and he was a good father,” adding that he felt he had “bonded” with her. While copping to placing his hand on the woman’s leg for “approximately 30 seconds,” Zorse denied placing his hand up her skirt. He did acknowledge, however, that he “could have said something like ‘It’s not like I stuck my finger up your pussy or grabbed your tits,’” according to the probable cause statement.
Here’s what really bothers me about this ugly, illegal incident. Zorse confesses. Easily. He doesn’t see anything wrong in what he did to a sleeping (NON- CONSENTING) woman because he believed “the female passenger was “flirting with him, telling him he was attractive and he was a good father,” adding that he felt he had “bonded” with her.” It’s all about his feelings. Those are his only social clues.
Zorse determines what constitutes flirting. He also determines what constitutes bonding. He even decides that the conversation before the woman fell asleep progressed to the point where he could touch her. He had already granted himself permission.
But even if they were flirting and bonding he never gained her consent for touching. Not that he even begins to understand that. If he did understand consent then he would have never incriminated himself. This, my friends, is part of rape culture. It’s where everything that comes before the assault, battery, rape is taken as consent by one party, and only one party. It’s where this guy gets to put his psychic ability on the table as a credible witness – an “I felt it in my bones” defense. It’s where what she felt didn’t matter, because if she didn’t want it then she would have… What? Been rude? Slapped him? I have no idea. What I do know is that if she had ignored him, refused to chat with him, then she would have gone from an attractive woman to a man-hating bitch in two seconds flat. (In fact, Zorse did just that with his vulgar statement to her after she called him out.) And he still may have groped her. Know why? Because that’s what men like this do. If they believe they’ve bonded with the woman, then non-consensual touching isn’t really non-consensual. If they label the woman a bitch the groping can turn into a punishment, a power play. This guy is a sexual predator because I can’t think of a single reason/excuse to justify his behavior.
And if you read the comments on this article brace yourself for the predictable victim blaming. Apparently sleeping on a plane, or taking medication to help you sleep, is now a no-no for women. Really, the things that women are no longer allowed to do – drinking, wearing “sexy” clothes, sleeping on a plane – is becoming quite ridiculous. We’re rapidly heading towards burqas and family member chaperones for women who want to leave the house.
This woman boarded a plane, spoke with, and maybe even complimented and flirted with the guy seated next to her (a guy whose 12 year old son was sitting next to him, btw), took medication to help her sleep during a long flight, fell asleep, and awoke to a guy massaging her thigh. And his defense is he believed they bonded?
What’s even worse is that our rape culture will provide a defense for Mr. Zorse’s actions. And that’s frightening.