It has been a great year for television as a medium, in fact it has been medium rare. (Hey, when did Bruce Vilanch start ghost writing these posts?) Anyway, the Emmy’s are this Sunday. Here are my airtight, rock-solid, lead pipe lock predictions:
Drama Series
“Breaking Bad” – should win
“Downton Abbey” – will win. Hollywood has an inferiority complex when it comes to overrated limey bastards. That is why all of our competition shows are judged by limey bastards.
Comedy Series
“Louie” – should win
“The Big Bang Theory” – will win (The lame overly laugh-tracked sitcom will be the networks last gasp. Modern Family has won this a bunch of times, but Louie is (apparently) the most interesting show I’ve never seen.
Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Hugh Bonneville, “Downton Abbey” – Limey bastard
Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad” – should win and will win. The one who knocks will not be denied.
Jeff Daniels, “The Newsroom” – too topical
Jon Hamm, “Mad Men” – should have won last year
Kevin Spacey, “House of Cards” – copying limey bastards could work for the voters
Damian Lewis, “Homeland” – Double Limey Bastard pretending to be American
Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Connie Britton, “Nashville” – never heard of it.
Claire Danes, “Homeland” – too cry-y
Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men” – not even the best actress on the show
Michelle Dockery, “Downton Abbey” – limey bastard
Vera Farmiga, “Bates Motel” – should win
Kerry Washington, “Scandal” – never hear of it
Robin Wright, “House of Cards”
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock” – should win
Jason Bateman, “Arrested Development” – should win
Louis C.K., “Louie” – should win
Don Cheadle, “House of Lies” – should win
Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory” – will win because awards shows are stupid.
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Laura Dern, “Enlightened”
Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation” – should win
Lena Dunham, “Girls” – will win because nobody likes the show but everyone needs to pretend to like it.
Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie”
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep”