I Can’t Imagine Why This Guy Is Still Single

Filed in National by on September 25, 2013

Some days you just gotta love the internet.

I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

I want the girl to be attractive.

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha 😀

It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

I also have a very high sex drive.

I’m not even sure where to begin.  Okay, he’s a big ol’ racist.  Which is where I should end this, but…  There’s just sooooo much here.

He really, really doesn’t like overweight women.  He will not date them.  Only attractive girls, ’cause…

 



Yep, that’s him.

I seriously can’t believe some lucky, thin, toned, non-tattooed, non-slutty mini skirt and high heeled boot/pump wearing woman hasn’t snapped him up.  (Love the peacock.  It just adds… something.)

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A stay-at-home mom with an obsession for National politics.

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  1. From Around the Blogroll | THE FIRST STREET JOURNAL. | September 27, 2013
  1. cassandra_m says:

    What fresh hell?

    Dude — Tom Jones called….he wants his ruffled shirt back.

  2. puck says:

    Is he the one on the right, or the left?

  3. socialistic ben says:

    Man, Dave Grohl is such a jerk.

  4. Geezer says:

    This has to be a spoof. The shirt — not just beet red, not just ruffled, but BOTH — is the giveaway. And is that a Rolls Royce emblem around his neck? Is that what all the racist, poofy-shirt-wearing Austinites are rocking these days?

  5. Geezer says:

    This guy makes Dave Grohl look like Tom Jones.

  6. pandora says:

    Oh my… check out his Reddit AMA

    There’s a whole lot of offensive over there from him.

  7. Dana says:

    It looks to me like he simply told the truth. Most people don’t tell the truth about what attracts them, because they don’t want to be offensive, but the truth is still there, behind it all. When he said that he would not date a black woman, he was telling the truth; might as well not lie about it, right? Is that racism, or a realistic statement about what attracts him?

    Of course, the first picture is amusing: he won’t date a girl who is overweight, and then he has his own gut hanging out. 😆

    I’m guessing, though, that this whole thing is a gag, from the “I prefer a woman that has never had children” paragraph. Even Dr Sheldon Cooper wouldn’t write that one!

  8. Dana says:

    Or, then again, maybe it is channeling Sheldon Cooper (of The Big Bang Theory.) 😆

    Assuming that the whole thing actually is true, maybe we ought to wonder about the girlfriend who lived with him for eleven years . . . .

  9. Another Mike says:

    Halle Berry, I am here for you. And I am not dressed in a puffy shirt.

  10. pandora says:

    Halle Berry would be lucky to have you!

    And yep… he’s racist. I’m not going to post his vile, but if you want to see it… click this link to Gawker and scroll down to the middle of the post. Vile, disgusting and extremely racist.

  11. cassandra_m says:

    Cut him some slack, P — this racist whack job has black friends!

  12. TC says:

    Google “Romeo Rose.”

  13. socialistic ben says:

    Dana, you should follow P’s link and read his tirade about “proof” White are the superior race. It’s either a joke, or he’s a total racist POS.

  14. Dana says:

    Ben: I did. So, he’s an idiot. But something doesn’t quite jive. If Caucasians are the übermenschen, why is he willing to “date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.” Though he didn’t specify, “anything except Black” must include Arabs and Indians and Chinese and Vietnamese and Filipinos and Japanese and Mongols and a whole bunch of other people. Why wouldn’t he have specified only Caucasians?

    Of course, since we are all supposed to be at least 20th cousins, why he’s part African himself. 🙂

    And I’d point out to my good friend Jason here that all European-descended people are (supposedly) at least 12th cousins, he and I are family. 😆

  15. BTW, is/was he a hockey player at some point? Those teeth look like they just came from the factory.

  16. Delta Dawn says:

    His first idiotic request is for a “girl”. Lets turn him over to some vice squad, for this obvious solicitation of minors. Maybe he”ll think twice next time before pulling out his spec sheet for a Stepford Wife, but asking for a Barbie doll. Sadly, some “girl” somewhere is probably waiting by her phone anticipating Mr. Jerk to pick her so she can hasten being more invisible and insignificant and insecure. Ladies, don’t want to miss this offer. What a catch. Thanks for posting.

  17. Frank says:

    I know why he doesn’t want a woman who is selfish.

    Can’t stand the competition.

  18. Dana says:

    El S: does he really look like a guy who ever played sports?

  19. socialistic ben says:

    Dave Troll was probably an all-star high school ….. im gonna go with lacrosse…. player. (certainly not all lacross players are douche bags, but the biggest douche bags I’ve ever known were lacrosse players.)

    I have an idea for a social experiment. If liberals really shame this dude hard, will right wing talk radio start lifting him up as a hero against “feminazism” and fight for his “first amendment rights?” Could he be a contender for the GOP 2016 nomination?

  20. Geezer says:

    “not all lacross players are douche bags, but the biggest douche bags I’ve ever known were lacrosse players”

    You haven’t met enough golfers then.

  21. jason330 says:

    “… If liberals really shame this dude hard, will right wing talk radio start lifting him up as a hero against “feminazism” and fight for his “first amendment rights?” Could he be a contender for the GOP 2016 nomination?”

    I wasn’t going to comment on this thread, but have to give props.

  22. Dana says:

    The optimistic gentlemen wrote:

    Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

    Does this mean that he anticipates at least three positive responses, and that the redhead will win? 🙂

  23. pandora says:

    This might call for a limerick… yes?

  24. There was a young Truther in Texas
    Driving around in his Lexus
    He was all alone
    Him and his bone
    No girl, and so he was sexless.

  25. There was a young man quite frustrated
    Living in his community, gated
    His ad he unfurled
    But still had no girl
    So he sat there and just masturbated.

  26. jason330 says:

    The Internet Romeo liked lots of races,
    such as french and Italian faces,
    But didn’t go black,
    for fear he couldn’t go back.
    Now he has scorn by the cases.

  27. TeleMan says:

    Barney the Purple Dinosaur called, he says he wants his teeth back. Hey, at least he didn’t claim to have a large sex drive.

  28. He called eHarm’ny dot com,
    Said, “Fix me up with da bomb!
    They’ll quickly see
    How much they want me!
    ‘Cause I am really Don Juan!”

  29. Dana: Well, no. But you know what comes after hockey…lotsa beer! Canadian brew at that.

  30. He moved to Austin and thought,
    “I’ll marry Amanda Marcotte!”
    Alas! His plan failed,
    She’d already bailed,
    Too bad, ’cause he is so hot!

  31. socialistic ben says:

    He considers himself quite the rocker
    but is really his own worst cock-blocker
    “not fat chicks”, he said “nor blacks in my bed”
    If a woman shows interest, please, stop her.

  32. socialistic ben says:

    I think he looks like Dave Grohl…..
    Got drunk and slept with a troll
    THIS pig was spawned, over Barbies he’s fawned
    Now the rhyme-nerds are on quite a roll

  33. socialistic ben says:

    I Dont like Fat girls
    Red-head whites preferably
    Forever alone

  34. My peeps all think that he’s rude,
    They don’t like his attitude,
    But he’s just so sad,
    ‘Cause the girl that he had
    Dumped him for a big black dude!

  35. Dana says:

    El S: Not hockey, but rugby.

  36. He tried as hard as he could
    To find a girl that is good
    His ad didn’t work
    ‘Cause he is a jerk
    Which he never understood.

  37. Tom McKenney says:

    teeth like Mr. Ed
    I can’t get a girl in bed
    I’ll jerk off instead

  38. pandora says:

    I am so happy! You guys are very clever!

  39. Dana says:

    Would it be wrong of me to suggest that, with that red shirt, he might not be looking for women at the right kind of bar?

  40. socialistic ben says:

    Depends. Gay men would have MUCH better fashion sense than that. IF that’s what you were suggesting.

    Unless you are saying he is a LARPer, and speaking as a Larp-curious person with many friends who are in those sorts of cultures, I’m pretty sure he’d be run out of the Ren Fair on an over-sized turkey leg.

  41. Dana says:

    I have to admit it: I had to look up LARP on the urban dictionary.

  42. Delta Dawn says:

    What he brings to the table is in question
    Until it is shared I,ll keep wretching
    Not his looks but his list
    Has most of us pissed
    And makes staying single a big blessing

  43. socialistic ben says:

    ah, true but a man such as this
    responds to one type of diss
    so sure of his views,
    we’re bound to loose
    If all that is mocked is his list

  44. Dana says:

    Real women would take him to school
    He’d find out that he is a fool
    But he wants no kid
    And so we are rid
    Of keeping him in the gene pool.

  45. socialistic ben says:

    win