First, we will tackle the subject of El Somnambulo’s year end review over the next three days. The Good. The Bad. The Ridiculous. First up, the Ridiculous. Here is your reminder:
10. An apparently well-lubricated John Atkins waxes eloquent over the illegitimacy of the Moon Landing:
“Rick, once its launched it simply could have orbitted around the earth out of view of the naked eye? Ever watch “astronauts gone wild”? A guy simply asks every man that walked on the moon to place his hand on the bible to confirm it. Not one would do it…why not?” (Writer’s note: All spelling, grammar, and punctuation in this quote courtesy of John Atkins, perhaps after a night of enjoying soft-core lingerie models, sponsored by Maxim and Anheuser Busch.)
9. Pro rassler Jay Briscoe, champ of the Ring of Honor promotion at the time, (real name, Jamin Pugh of Laurel, Delaware) tweets the following after passage of the marriage equality bill:
“The Delaware Senate passed a bill yesterday that allows same sex couples to get married. If that makes you happy, then congratulations!! Try to teach my kids that there’s nothing wrong with that and I’ll fucking shoot you.“
Apparently, Pugh’s family is known for their intolerance. One of our respondents describes Pugh’s father as a ‘particularly sanctimonious jackass’.
8. Newark NIMBYs’ strident objections to a Wawa leads Vance Funk to resign. Opponents call the Wawa a ‘bright gaudy place’ and a ‘cancer in the community’, according to the Newark Post. Rep. John Kowalko equates Wawa to Walmart to great cheers from Wawa opponents. Not sure they’re gonna like the new mayor any better…
7. The lonely quest of the Sheriff of Nuttingham comes to an end. Not only was Jeff Christopher rebuffed by two Delaware courts, including the Delaware Supreme Court, in claiming that he was a police officer. But Sussex County denies Christopher’s application to conduct (I can’t make this up) ‘posse training’ in a Sussex County building.
6. Previously discussed. Wilmington City Council votes to outsource Wilmington’s violence problems to the Center for Disease Control. Uh, correct me if I’m wrong. Don’t council members live in the city’s neighborhoods? Doesn’t a single one of them have a clue as to how to address this? Really? Do these people get paid? If so, they shouldn’t.
5. Tom Gordon and the NAACP try to play the race card to gin up a phony controversy against County Councilperson Lisa Diller. So here’s the deal. County attorney Bernard Pepukayi (who is, don’t tell anybody, black) refuses to provide a briefing to Diller over a project in Diller’s district. Diller raises her voice at the attorney and demands a briefing, the type of briefing routinely granted to council members. Rather than doing what is common practice, County Executive Gordon sends out a statement blasting Diller for her unprofessional manner and her lack of comportment, or something. The Delaware NAACP decides to demand that Diller take ‘anger management and diversity training’. Uh, you see, Gordon is looking to run for governor, and his hapless cronies who now represent what was once a proud civil rights organization are only too happy to help him. Never mind that Diller is both mild-mannered and progressive. Never underestimate the slimy depths to which Gordon will sink. Too bad they didn’t worry about dealing with the backlash over the rampant sexism they probably didn’t even know they were revealing.
4. Rethug State Chairman John Sigler busted as killer and maimer of wounded pigeons. Busted on camera shooting wounded birds electronically ejected from a box. BTW, read the comments thread to see how some argued that the photo shoot was rigged. Idiots. Later in the year, he runs away from a questioner at Leg Hall. Sigler was there, of course, to protect the 2nd Amendment rights of pigeon-maimers everywhere. Shortly thereafter, he resigns as Rethug State Chair.
3. David Grimaldi, need I say more? Guy never does anything wrong, trouble just seems to follow him. Mindin’ his own business at Luigi Vitrone’s Pastabilities, when this Arcaro guy picks a fight with him. Apparently over the ‘N’ word or something. County cops show up b/c Grimaldi calls them. City gets left out. We’re told by the County that this is not unusual, at least when it involves Grimaldi. Turns out that Grimaldi had been ‘accosted’ at least one previous time while minding his business. And then there was that little incident at the Hockessin PAL. Oh, almost forgot, Grimaldi demanded that an 84-year-old volunteer be ousted from her volunteer position at Rockwood b/c she wouldn’t let him and his ‘escort’ to visit the upstairs quarters unattended. Never mind that nobody was permitted to do this, Grimaldi is a somebody. According to Grimaldi, the 84-year-old volunteer is a nobody. Enquiring minds want to know…is Grimaldi’s escort a somebody, or related to a somebody? A bigwig in County government perhaps? Dave? Tom? Somebody? Nancy, any insight into this?
2. L’Affaire Velda Jones Potter. Let’s see…blew up a great gig by using her office to make sure that her son’s music festival didn’t lose a shit-ton of money. Lied about it, claiming that she was wearing her ‘private citizen’ hat while ordering around city employees to make sure that the festival didn’t tank, and then claims that when she was fired, she left with her integrity intact. I think she meant ‘in tatters’, but that would assume that integrity had been her constant calling card. Delusional narcissism is something to behold sometimes. Speaking of delusional narcissism…
1. L’Affaire Chipman Flowers. Courtesy of SCTV. Chip Flowers blowed himself up real good. At the local level, I don’t think I can recall an officeholder destroying his career all by himself like this. If you go back and count up all the lies that Chip told this year, he would rival Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky thing. Difference is, Clinton was trapped by the Ken Starrs of the world. Chip just conjured up a whole bunch of enemies, but ignored the only real one, the delusional narcissist staring back at him. Really, that song’s too great for this topic. Kinda think it’s too late for the Chipmeister to ‘make that change’. Oh well, we’ll have Chip Flowers to laugh about until our memories fade. I mean, Denali, Denial, it’s just too easy.
Here is the schedule for the end of the year polling.
Today–The Ridiculous.
Tomorrow–The Good.
Saturday–The Bad.
Sunday through Wednesday–Approval Ratings–Governor Markell
Thursday, 12-26-13–Approval Ratings–Lt. Governor Denn
Friday, 12-27-13–Approval Ratings–Treasurer Chip Flowers
Saturday, 12-28-13–Approval Ratings–Attorney General Biden
Sunday, 12-29-13–Approval Ratings–Insurance Commissioner Stewart
Monday, 12-30-13–Approval Ratings–Senator Carper
Tuesday, 12-31-13–Approval Ratings–Senator Coons
Wednesday, 1-1-14–Approval Ratings–Congressman Carney