Delaware Liberal

End Of Life Decisions

One of the things I value about Delaware Liberal is our community.  This isn’t the first time I’ve reached out, and I doubt it will be the last.  As I type this I am awaiting a call back from my father-in-law’s senior living apartment’s service coordinator.  It’s decision time, which means I’m scrambling for information.

My father-in-law took a fall about a month ago.  He seemed okay, and we were fortunate he was given a visiting nurse.  I LOVE Medicare!  Then yesterday, my phone rang.  It was the EMTs calling.  My FIL had fallen and was completely disoriented.  He was refusing treatment and the EMT called me before they had to call the police – because my FIL HAD to go to the hospital.  Of course, he did.  I spoke to my FIL on the phone – Luckily, he recognized me – but he still refused to go to the hospital.  I told him I was on my way over, then called my husband.  By the time we got there the EMTs had finally gotten him on the stretcher.  He’s now at the hospital and we’re awaiting test results.  Those that have come back have indicated he has shingles, a UTI, occasional cardiac atrial fibrillation and has suffered a series of mini strokes.  The hospital expects to keep him for three days.

So, here’s where I’m at, and where I turn to DL for advice.  I’m thinking his days at the senior apartment (which was amazing, btw) are over and we need to find assisted living.  Needless to say, he doesn’t have any money, and while we aren’t struggling financially we do have a child in college and a high school junior.  Paying thousands of dollars for assisted living isn’t possible for us.  You know, whenever I hear people spouting platitudes about how money doesn’t buy happiness I roll my eyes, because, while it may not buy happiness it does make a situation like this 1,000x easier.

So, my first question is: Does anyone have any insight or recommendations for affordable assisted living?

Second… my husband has to be one of the few people on this earth who hasn’t had chicken pox.  He’s been banned from visiting his father.  Guess who now has that job!  My husband feels terrible about this.  I mention this because my FIL had major “accidents” when he fell and there’s an almighty mess to be cleaned up – and my husband can’t do it.  So… in addition to finding an assisted living facility I’m trying to find a cleaning outfit that will clean up what is deemed hazardous waste.  If I can’t find someone, I’ll do it… BUT I’D REALLY LIKE TO FIND SOMEONE!  Help!

Oh, did I mention that my husband has three other siblings?  Two of which live locally, but seem unable to help (unless given a specific job – that my husband must assign – and which would come with a gazillion emails, which ends up having my husband say it’s easier to just do it himself) and haven’t even shown up at the hospital?   Yeah, I’m a little bitter.  I just feel so awful for my husband.  Okay, end of venting about something I can’t change.  Thanks for listening!

I already know this community will answer my call – even if it’s just with words of encouragement.  And for that… I thank you.

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