Why I’m not voting for Ken Simpler
“Excuse me, do you have the time?”
“Is this seat taken?”
“Do you happen to know, is this the line for registration?”
Everyone has millions of these forgettable little interactions every year. To make one of these little encounters between strangers memorable you would really have to be a huge dick. Your asshole-ishness would have to be a core part of your being. In a world where we have come to expect the personality traits of Republicans to skew towards shithead, to stand out as a very memorably rude, entitled shithead, you would have to get off on being a shithead.
That’s Ken Simpler for you. Based on a brief chance encounter a year or so ago, I can confidently say that he is a dick. I guess it is possible that he was having a bad day, but I didn’t get that sense. Rather, he seemed like the kind of guy who likes being a rude jerk to people. If he happens to be elected, I predict that many stories of his horrible management style and general assholery will build up in short order.
Maybe there are some good reasons to vote for him, but it would take a lot for me to change my mind about him. If you can take the measure of a man by the way he behaves when it doesn’t matter, then Ken Simpler is a shithead. Yes. Sometimes (especially in Delaware) it is that simple.
On the other hand, maybe he recognized you.
In which case, his supposed behavior was extremely reserved.
No. He is simply a dick.
Kettle.
BTW….nothing in your story above identifies the behavior that Simpler supposedly displayed. You’re rambling like the Winky Dinky Dog owner in Hollywood Shuffle.
“You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South?”
“That little lake?”
“By any chance, do you happen to know where they go, the ducks, when it gets all frozen over?”
“Do you happen to know, by any chance?”
I’m an opinionated a-hole, but I’m not a rude prick to absolute strangers. That’s something else entirely. Regardless of your politics, it reveals a very low character.
Anyway, take it or leave it. I have one vote and I’m going to use it.
“People always think something’s *all* true.”
I get that this is subjective. But I hope he loses by one vote. That would be a good lesson in not acting like an entitled a-hole.
Three different names? Really? This isn’t Delaware Politics.
Jason, what exactly happened?
Geezer,
I was back and forth on going into specifics. It was probably over two years ago, and the very random nature of this made me think that specifics don’t matter. A dick begin a dick for no good reason is enough. But reflecting on the possibility that he might have recognized me has moved me off that a little bit.
It doesn’t change change that Simpler is very practiced and efficient at being a complete dick, but I suppose it is possible that there is some context to his assholery.
So, I was at a bar (as predicted above… by Simpler himself (?)). And I asked, “Is this seat taken?” In the way that you ask people that question in bars when waiting for a table. And this asshole, Simpler managed to invest his response with such incredible douchiness that it was really very memorable. He was so good at it, that I thought that it must be an everyday thing for the guy. Simple question, completely dickish response. Life is funny.
Years pass, then I watched his campaign video on Friday, I thought… where do I know that guy from? Then… “Oh yeah.”
What did he say? I can only think of two answers to that question, “yes” and “no”.
SUCH A TEASE. You’ve already made a post about it. You’ve gone on to give us a few more tantalizing details. Don’t leave us hanging! What was it about his response that was so drenched in douchbaggery?
So your shiny faced barroom recollections, with still no claims of what he said, are proof enough?
If you had anything worth more than a fay slap, you would have come out with it at the start.
Was your bare-chested Green dance the last known sighting of your manhood?
Proof enough for me. As I said, this is subjective. If someone knows of some instances of Simpler not being a complete dick, and they like his politics – they should vote for him.
Jason, you’ve given me a quandary. Voting against someone is understandable. I get that. But what is one supposed to do when the only alternative for voting for a dick is … another dick?
How do you chose between dicks?… Size?… that’s what seems to matter despite all pronouncements otherwise.
Sensitivity? Well sometimes that actually gets in the way, causing a certain prescription needing to be acquired…
Structure? Well, none are structured the same they say.. But if they were, I guess a dick is a dick is a dick…
But really, how does one choose between different dicks? By comparing selfies? I don’t know? Tape Measures? Perhaps. Attitude in pushing its way in?… Maybe..
But when you have to choose between two dicks, that causes one to look very closely, pull out the rubric, and add up points…
Looking microscopically at two dicks was absolutely the very last thing I wanted to do this election season.
I knew we had one dick already. No you are saying there are two? Why does this world have to be so complicated?
lol. Well, everyone in the race is a politician, so it is a given that they have some dick problems.
As for Simpler, I have had one interaction with the guy, and a brief one at that. Because I am human I am wired to make snap judgements and my judgement is that I wouldn’t want to have a part in giving him a start in politics.
painesme,
You have the entire story. There are no further details. Simpler said that the seat was taken but managed to invest his response with such incredible douchiness that it came back to me when I saw his campaign video. But, look. I’ll ask some FB friends if I am all wet. I doubt it, but I’ll ask.
Wow. Up to FOUR different names. Sure sign of a SuxCo mouth-breather.
Is this a political conversation, or an anatomy lesson??? Yeesh! Body parts not generally part of polite conversation of gentlemen.
Agreed. My vocabulary is lacking.
I have never seen a blog dedicated to “the polite conversation of gentlemen,” nor do I want to. If you can’t take the sight of “dick,” get out of the locker room.
Old Sux Native.
North of the canal, such IS polite political conversation. South down your way, another piece of the anatomy, usually found under the backside, dominates all political discussion. I’ve often wondered why they never copied the more northern model and chose to remain fascinated with the other. My guess has always been that they don’t have one of the former.
“have never seen a blog dedicated to “the polite conversation of gentlemen,” nor do I want to. ”
to completely and totally threadjack….
why? why not attempt to anonymously treat each other with some level of civility?
I think Geezer means being plainspoken, and not held to some contrived standard of decorum. I use “dick” and all kinds of other words but still consider myself polite. I’m try to be especially polite to strangers – because I do think how you treat people matters.
Ah yes, but geezer, no JUST GEEZER… but geezer (i just said geezer a lot) is one who isnt at all shy about delivering that low punch or cutting insult. (too often i forget that each thread is it’s own universe and nothing anyone said in other threads is relevant heheheh )
there’s frank and there’s intentionally harsh. I think “intentionally harsh” is the default setting for most people on the internet. I think this is dumb, that’s all.
I hear you.
“If you can’t take the sight of “dick,” get out of the locker room”
coffee.through.nose.
Nice gets you farther in life. In business, it lessens the chance of getting sued if something goes wrong. Nice makes the world a better place. There’s just too much negativity, misery and sadness in the world. Nice won’t solve it all, but it just helps make the day go a little better.
That’s all…
Are you sure he didn’t mistake “Is this seat taken” for a pickup line?
Not to brag but I do send out a kind of “burning man” vibe to the universe … So maybe.
Were you wearing a shirt at the time?
@OSN and Ben: Yes, I’m a dick, Guilty as charged.
Shirt but no pants.
So was this a “saits tahykun” moment a la Forest Gump? lol
jason is a shirt-cocker…. who knew.
“why? why not attempt to anonymously treat each other with some level of civility?”
I agree Ben. Unless I’m on a site where there civility is prohibited and anything goes, I try to keep it civil, especially on serious sites where serious topics are being discussed.
To that end, both Barney and Simpler seem to be able and competent. Maybe that’s a low bar but considering the relative inability of the Treasurer to act unilaterally, simple competence ought to be sufficient. The question is, is this office considered to a stepping stone? And if it is, how should the voters view each of the candidates; present or future sense? I know that some candidates “moved up” after holding the office, but I haven’t seen much evidence that it gives anyone a big leg up. But then I’m new in Delaware. There doesn’t seem to be much that the Treasurer can do to be a hero, but as we’ve seen there is much they can do be a court jester.
Dave: Both Tom Carper and Jack Markell served as treasurer before becoming governor (in Carper’s case, he spent time in Congress, a la Carney, before running for governor). In most states, attorney general is considered the best stepping stone to the governorship. IN Delaware, there’s too much actual work to do in the AG’s office for the AG to spend time campaigning; perhaps that’s why the treasurer’s office has proved a better launching pad.
“Other duties as assigned, and running for the next office up.”
It is in the Treasurer’s job Description. I’m pretty sure about that.
Let me ask a stupid question. What does a treasurer do and where is it outlined? Most elected people I have met in DE are arrogant and self serving. Voting for a a Democrat for national office is like voting for a formerly moderate Republican. They all seem to represent the 1% except the Republicans want to nominate religious nuts and paranoid haters.