I’ve spent a few weeks thinking about how bad the GOP field is, but I haven’t turned the table upside down to think about which candidate would be a better President than the others. Obviously, we’d be talking about shades of differences…mere whips of perceived virtues where no real virtue abides. But let’s give it a go, shall we?
First off…Jeb Bush is better than the field because he appears to be a grown up. I also think he’d be chastened by the myriad fuck ups of his idiot brother.
Rand Paul is next. He is better than Scott Walker. They are both creepy narcissists, but Rand Paul’s creepy narcissism seems like the kind of narcissism that might allow him to take advice from grown ups. Scott Walker, unfortunately learned all the wrong lessons from having survived his recall and now actually thinks of himself as a genuine hard-ass willing to “make the tough calls” and go against public opinion because “fuck it.”
And yet, Scott Walker is better than Chris Christie, who is both A creepy narcissists and a blow hard who REALLY believes that he is the tough guy America needs right now. As demonstrated by his governorship of New Jersey, Christie would not be constrained by anything. Decency? Common Sense? Reality? C’mon… those are for pussies. He’s got the swagger of a drunken oaf who has never hung around long enough to see all the cleanup that his drunken oafishness requires. And yet, he is still better than the next tier of candidates, the religious whackjobs like Mike Huckabee, who is slightly better than the other religious whackjobs.
Next in this series… which religious whackjobs would be better at being President than the other religious whackjobs.