The last Rick Perry reality show ended with a nail-biting cliffhanger. What will be the third federal agency closed on “day 1” of Perry’s first term in the White House? Speculation ran rampant. Would it be Agriculture? Probably not. Farmer’s need their welfare checks. Defense? Doubtful. Energy? There was a brief surge of support for that one. Health and Human Services? That was my guess. It just sounds liberal.
But perhaps Homeland Security? The newbie on the block. Or Housing and Urban Development? Housing!?! Ew… Urban development… DOUBLE EWW!
Department of the Interior? Get offa my land!! CLiven Bundy votes for the elimination of this one.
The United States Department of Justice? Pesky do-gooders, always coming to to tell police departments to stop shooting unarmed black people.
I’m getting woozy. You can make a wingnut case for closing down any and all of these. You can make a wingnut case for no government whatsoever (provided my rascal scooter still gets paid for.)
Anyway – Perry is in. Prop Joe picks up a point. And, oh yeah, Lindsey Graham, the guy who thinks America is suffering from not being in enough wars right now, entered the race on June 1. Del Dem now has two on the track.
FAQ’s
What’s with Bush?
Are Christie, Jindahl, and Walker going to make it into the debates?
Here are the standing:
Division 1
Pandora: Walker, Paul (81), Rubio (76), and Santorum(8) | 165
Jason330: Huckabee (53), Christie, Cruz* (97),Carson (54) | 204
AQC: Jindal, Bush, Fiorina (54), Ehrlich | 54
Division 1A
Newton: Paul (81), Rubio (76),Carson (54), Santorum (8) | 219
Prop Joe: Cruz* (97), Jindahl, Walker, Perry (1) | 98
Del Dem: Bush, Christie, Huckabee (53), Graham (4)| 57
Here are the Candidates with points: Cruz – 97 points (March 23rd), Paul – 81 points (April 7th), Rubio – 76 points (April 13), Carson – 54 points (May 4th), Fiorina – 54 points (May 4th), Huckbee – 53 point (May 5th), Santorum – 8 points (May27th) Graham – 4 Points (June 1) Perry – 1 point (June 4th)
(*) Indicates candidates who are low down goat fuckers.
Check my math, and let me know if I miss an announcement.