CarperBot Marshall Lauds LGBT Hero McBride: It’s a Trap!

Filed in National by on November 3, 2015

Carperdyne Model T1000, otherwise known to us mere Democrats as Mat “Only One T” Marshall, recently highlighted a New Statesmen article in a Facebook post regarding the future of transgender politics, saying simply (yet deviously) that Sarah McBride “won’t share this because she knows it doesn’t stack up to my Delaware Liberal coverage, but I’m happy to take the high road.”

“Lesbian and gay politics advanced on the shoulders of courageous trailblazers like Harvey Milk, Barney Frank, and Chris Smith. Georgina Beyer allowed trans people to dream big dreams when she was elected the first transgender national parliamentarian in New Zealand in 1999. Who will be the first out transgender person elected to high office in America and Britain? Sarah McBride has all the right credentials in the United States—former student body president at American University, staffer for Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden, White House intern, campaign director at the Center for American Progress.

Emphasis mine. Surely this is some sort of evil plot by Emperor Palpatine… er ah, I mean Senator Carper to cloak himself in Sarah’s accomplishments and glory. Nevermind that Sarah and Mat[t] have been friends since high school.

* This post is half parody, especially the stuff about Mat[t] Marshall. Everything about Sarah McBride is real and inspiring, made more so by how humble she is. Congrats Sarah.

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  1. Jason330 says:

    Jesus. Mat has sure packed on some pounds. (Notice how I objectified man and not the woman? Enlightenment, Bitches!! )

  2. Delaware Dem says:

    That picture was from 2012. He is rather slender.

  3. Jason330 says:

    Bulimia?

  4. Mitch Crane says:

    Bulimia?

    No….just “bul” ( only one L )

  5. Sarah M says:

    Haha the perfect morning chuckle. This is some heavy duty investigative journalism here – particularly the deep Facebook dive that was probably required to find these two pictures 🙂

    Kudos, DelawareDem! And thanks for the really kind words!

  6. Delaware Dem says:

    Sarah, that one picture of Mat[t] is a Reddit Meme. Not difficult to find that one. For yours, though, I had to stalk your profile a little bit.

  7. Sarah M says:

    True. That picture of Mat is everywhere!

  8. Prop Joe says:

    I’d vote for Sarah in a heartbeat…

    But, DelawareDem… Let’s get real. Emperor Palpatine has always been Tom Gordon, not Tom Carper. Tom Carper, while certainly not your cup of tea (nor mine), is nowhere close to being a paramount Sith Lord.

    That could only describe Emperor Gordon…

    Of course, given recent developments, perhaps what’s happening is like the end of Return of the Jedi, where Darth Vader (Grimaldi) tries to take out his master, the Emperor (Gordon)…

    But I digress… McBride for [insert elective office here] 2016!!!

  9. Kat C says:

    Finally! Some hard hitting investigative reporting. Can you really trust a one T kind of person?

    Seriously, congrats Sarah…and kudos to Mat for pointing it out on the social nets.

  10. mouse says:

    I’m so confused lol

  11. Wee Geordie says:

    Wish today’s poll had “other” as an option. I can’t support either of the choices.

  12. Dominique says:

    Going forward, I will spell his name “Mat[t]”. Brilliant! 🙂

  13. Delaware Dem says:

    Dominique, if that is my one contribution to the Marshall Family Dynamic, I will consider that a job well done. LOL.